Saturday, April 4, 2020

Life is Simple

I vaguely remember long time ago I saw a very interesting TED Talk about how Life is Simple. It was about a man who from his village went to town and realized that people at towns have complicated life. He goes on to live in his village and his mantra was to remove all what is not necessary. Lived a life which most spiritual texts will teach you. 

While I don't endorse his life decisions but he does make a valid point life is indeed simple but we complicate it. We complicate it by defining rigid boundaries on perspectives as to what is right or wrong, by wearing colored glasses and seeing only red (fear/ anger/ negative) around us as our mental state is of fear and worry... The modern term to this is confirmatory bias... A bias towards how tough life is, how I am being mistreated, How I am having a tough life and all other are relishing their lives... 

Just stop and slow down.. not to slow down activity but slow down your mind, that's all it needs to simplify life. Mind is a dangerous animal, and if untamed it can only complicate self through conformation bias, and rigid definitions of how people should be, people should think, what is the right perspective and how no one else understands what your mind understands....

Easier said than done though... But if you don't put in an effort.. deliberate practice then how do you intend to come out of this vicious circle? What choice do you have other than acting to fight it? The only choice you have be a victim or figure a way out.... 

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Deliberate Practice

"Deliberate Practice" and not just practice leads to improvement. It is a beautiful concept I learnt aeons ago... Deliberate practice is purposeful and systematic, requires focused attention with the specific goal of improving an aspect of performance… Has a feedback loop to know how you doing and try again..

Regular practice is mindless repetition and not necessary leading to Improvement. 

Concept is great but to really do is a real challenge. 

Story of a Mugger and Wise Man

The wise man Peace Anand was returning from his friends place to his hostel. It was late and he was walking alone on the street. Suddenly he is surrounded by three young men, armed with clubs and knifes.The leader Restless Dukh is a tall 6 feet healthy fellow.

Restless to Peace - Hey you bugger where the fuck do you think you are going? Stop you ass we will beat the shit out of you.

Peace just stops. He does not say a word, he knows what is coming his way.

Restless - Don't you bloody have a tongue, cant you speak? Hand over your wallet, phone and all that you got.

Peace still does not speak and hands over the wallet and his mobile. He has no other thing to give. One of the other fellow comes form back and he holds him tight, another fellow comes and searches him if Peace is hiding anything. They get nothing.

Peace, at this moment says to restless in a calm way - Sir, Can you keep all which is useful for you and handover me the license, my passport.  It will help me

Something struck Restless, fearless calm voice had an impact. When 3 men are holding him, he could be killed. No one will know if that happens. Still the voice was just filled with calmness and sounded as if nothing matters, he seemed to be returning some kind of a loan to friend and asking for a small favour. Restless had been in such situations many times, always either the men shiver in fear or try show their anger, frustration mixed with fear. This chap nothing seem to matter sir can you return what is useless. Is he out of his mind. What the shit I can return it is not useful for me anyways, he has not shown any hatred, anger towards me and has done as i said. He seems to be giving me respect. Damn why should I return and have a soft corner. or what the shit let me give him what he wants.

Restless says - I will if there is enough money, if not you go to hell. He opened the Wallet there was 5K; Dont you have a credit card, this is awful lot of money...cool Huh

I am saving on transaction fee, I am a foreign student on a shoe string budget.

You need the money more than me. So what you are doing is legit, If i need it more i would have fought for it for my life. would have cursed you.

I will manage i have seen many difficult times. I will work hard borrow and return. you have earned this through your profession. I am sure you have a logical thought if you think you are sinning you would be depressed by now. you think it is right to do and hence you doing it. How do i hold it against you.

Right or wrong is subjective to the one who is processing it. And that's it, some day you may see some other logic. In our country there is only one logic if your action does not harm anyone  it is legit, It is stealing. but your reality is making u do it, so how do I blame you. Can I blame your reality which is what is their in your mind? I don't want to; walk the path of anger and frustration.... I will work hard and manage. 

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Unspoken Thoughts

Writing after a hiatus... I was caught up with the illusions of life... I am happy to be back today in acknowledging the unspoken thoughts.. Away from the so seeming illusions of life... however tomorrow is yet another day...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

In Defense of my Stubbornness

My friends, family, my bosses all call me stubborn.. The say it in different ways but it means the same - Stubborn! Sensitive as I am to criticism it does feel a little bad, and I wonder am I, is it bad? Can I do better... The cycle of questions to figure out if I am on the right track or not begins.. 

Sensitive I am but I am also a Narcissist :) This come to my rescue and I am here to defend my stubbornness, I now know that it is the best quality to have :)

In general I am stubborn to my viewpoint, this is the context I am called stubborn. In the context, the opposite of stubborn will be capricious, fickle minded and I am glad I am not the one. I do have views on topics and my views I form after some thought so I like to stick to my own comprehension and worldview. 

This stickiness I consider a strength which helps me stick to my decisions and own up, this helps me to put effort to execute to what I have decided, I stick my neck out to what I believe in, that's the stubbornness I have. What's the fun in living life and decisions of others, I like to learn on my own terms. Will I change my views, yes but with a lot of difficulty I need to have my worldview changed, I am trying to listen and observe better but change is albeit slow. I am at a position where I can decide so I like stubborn as I have accountability of my decisions, so unless convinced otherwise I like to stick to my views. I don't mind others to live as per their own conviction, I will not force my views on their life. 

To all those who are not stubborn I will say when it comes to your decisions be stubborn, don't let others rule you. You will feel in control and own up your destiny. If Gandhi was not stubborn to Britishers we would have not got Independence, if Mandela was not stubborn apartheid would have remained in Africa, if Mother Teresa was not stubborn she would have never stayed in India reducing the suffering. Stubbornness in some sense is also linked to perseverance and all leaders are stubborn... don't call me a Narcissist now please, I will defend that even better :). Be stubborn........

P.S. - Just wondering how these labels affect us, most do not appreciate the context and can out you down.. Stubbornness and Narcissism can be our shield with doses of self awareness and introspection.

I am happy with comfort zones

I am tired of listening to people that I need to challenge myself and move out of comfort zone.. Go challenge learn a new skill, play a guitar, or go start networking or partying, I am an introvert become an extrovert, go take a holiday alone and discover new places, make a new set of friends, change role as you are doing well in the role means you have learnt everything possible, find a girl for yourself you getting comfortable with self.. blah blah blah.. 

The amount of advise I on this from family and friends is unthinkable, the only silver lining is I am not alone.. Almost everyone gets it and there is enough written by experts that how comfort zone means I am a big loser :(. In fact I am better off as I don't indulge in self flagellation, this friend I was speaking to on the topic feels guilty as she is acting in accordance with comfort zone...

My argument is what's wrong with comfort zone? We chase happiness that's the meaning of life and the comfort zone by name itself means happiness, so why challenge and stress yourself and become uncomfortable? The only place I can agree is if this zone is inhibiting you to achieve what you wish to, like becoming a Head HR, go ahead and challenge as the goal is more important to you than the zone. But in general why keep moving out of the comfort zone. Please don't move my cheese, I like the predictability of it being here daily. I know the argument is that I will be less prepared to face challenge when environment changes, if it does I am ready to slog then. Adding stress and anxiety for fear of future and what may happen well I don't care. To those who believe in moving the zone time and again I will suggest be less fearful of future and the environment, it can change and go against you but at that time be ready to fight it, accept that reality. But for now don't be paranoid and just be happy and enjoy the comfort zone..

The only challenge which I like to take head on is my fears, as that's my goal to be fearless. This value is close to me as for a religious person is GOD. I am changing roles and I debated why am I moving out of my comfort zone, I am extremely happy with my role, the team I am working with. It is not the redundancy and growth as HR professional I am worried about then why? I have rationalized it now that it may help me practice new skills which I could not in the earlier years as I had a few fears, the fear is now gone and the new experience will give me to hone a few skills. Now I am looking forward to it......

Understanding Christmas

Christmas (Old English: Crīstesmæsse, meaning "Christ's Mass") is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ. "Xmas" is an abbreviation of Christmas found particularly in print, based on the initial letter chi (Χ) in Greek Khrīstos (Χριστός), "Christ", though numerous style guides discourage its use;

While the birth year of Jesus is estimated among modern historians to have been between 7 and 2 BC, the exact month and day of his birth are unknown. His birth is mentioned in two of the four canonical gospels. By the early-to-mid 4th century, the Western Christian Church had placed Christmas on December 25, a date later adopted in the East, although some churches celebrate on the December 25 of the older Julian calendar, which corresponds to January in the modern-day Gregorian calendar.

Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift giving, Christmas music and caroling, an exchange of Christmas cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various Christmas decorations, including Christmas trees, Christmas lights, nativity scenes, garlands, wreaths*, mistletoe, and holly. In addition, several closely related and often interchangeable figures, known as Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, and Christkind, are associated with bringing gifts to children during the Christmas season and have their own body of traditions and lore. Because gift-giving and many other aspects of the Christmas festival involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, the holiday has become a significant event and a key sales period for retailers and businesses. The economic impact of Christmas is a factor that has grown steadily over the past few centuries in many regions of the world

Family reunions and the exchange of gifts are a widespread feature of the season. Gift giving takes place on Christmas Day in most countries. Others practice gift giving on December 6, Saint Nicholas Day, and January 6, Epiphany.

A special Christmas family meal is traditionally an important part of the holiday's celebration, and the food that is served varies greatly from country to country. Some regions, such as Sicily, have special meals for Christmas Eve, when 12 kinds of fish are served. In the United Kingdom and countries influenced by its traditions, a standard Christmas meal includes turkey or goose, meat, gravy, potatoes, vegetables, sometimes bread and cider. Special desserts are also prepared, such as Christmas pudding, mince pies, and fruit cake.
In Poland and other parts of eastern Europe and Scandinavia, fish often is used for the traditional main course, but richer meat such as lamb is increasingly served. In Germany, France, and Austria, goose and pork are favored. Beef, ham, and chicken in various recipes are popular throughout the world.

A number of figures are associated with Christmas and the seasonal giving of gifts. Among these are Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus (derived from the Dutch for Saint Nicholas), Père Noël, and the Weihnachtsmann; Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas; the Christkind; Kris Kringle; Joulupukki; Babbo Natale; Saint Basil; and Father Frost.

The best known of these figures today is red-dressed Santa Claus, of diverse origins. The name Santa Claus can be traced back to the Dutch Sinterklaas, which means simply Saint Nicholas. Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in modern-day Turkey, during the 4th century. Among other saintly attributes, he was noted for the care of children, generosity, and the giving of gifts. His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts.

Saint Nicholas traditionally appeared in bishop's attire, accompanied by helpers, inquiring about the behaviour of children during the past year before deciding whether they deserved a gift or not. By the 13th century, Saint Nicholas was well known in the Netherlands, and the practice of gift-giving in his name spread to other parts of central and southern Europe. At the Reformation in 16th–17th-century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, corrupted in English to Kris Kringle, and the date of giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.

The modern popular image of Santa Claus, however, was created in the United States, and in particular in New York. The transformation was accomplished with the aid of notable contributors including Washington Irving and the German-American cartoonist Thomas Nast (1840–1902). Following the American Revolutionary War, some of the inhabitants of New York City sought out symbols of the city's non-English past. New York had originally been established as the Dutch colonial town of New Amsterdam and the Dutch Sinterklaas tradition was reinvented as Saint Nicholas.

*A wreath is an assortment of flowers, leaves, fruits, twigs or various materials that is constructed to resemble a ring. Wreaths are used typically as household ornaments, mainly as Christmas decorations to celebrate the birth of Christ. They are usually made from evergreens and symbolize strength, as evergreens last even throughout the harshest winters

Boxing Day takes place on December 26th and is only celebrated in a few countries. It was started in the UK about 800 years ago, during the Middle Ages. It was the day when the alms box, collection boxes for the poor often kept in churches, were traditionally opened so that the contents could be distributed to poor people. Some churches still open these boxes on Boxing Day.