Journey of life

I am bothered by the way life is going,
It comes from my hunger for more.
The hunger is insatiable and takes me to all directions,
It wants quantity and a lot of variety and there is no end.
But the time is limited and not all can be digested
and therefore begins a conflict.. which to choose?.

Life i have realized is nothing but a series of choices
Those choices made propel it in different directions.
At each moment there is a choice - thrill or calmness, happiness or unhappiness...
But strangely I don't know fully the consequences of the choices we take...

Life is about choices and I don't know fully the consequence of choices,
The consequence is in future which is unpredictable,
There are probabilities of likely consequence but it is at best a probability,
Choices propel to an unpredictable consequence,
After one consequence one moves to another choice and further consequence,
Life is a journey of choices and consequences and in the end it rests, it dies.

What are these choices, consequences worth?
Is there no continuity to life an end one must aim for?
Is it just a journey which ends for each in a certain way?
Are there really any better choices and consequence?

What is the ultimate consequence I must aim for?
Happiness? Perfection? Love? Fame? Power?

Life & Thoughts

Thoughts are staring at me
Had thought of a few ideals
Life made the thoughts practical
The thoughts are staring at life

To be or not to be

There you are... Thinking about to do or not to do... I often get stuck in this situation, the two different paths each leading to a different direction and each bringing its own pleasures and pains. which one to take?

Then there is the path you are already walking on, it is so cosy and familiar and its pleasures you are accustomed to.. Which one to take...

Pleasure and pain are part of parcel of all, how do I decide which one I eliminate; do I just take the plunge basis which one will give me a new experience and learning given all other things are equal. Do I take a long term view and decide. Long term sounds good but long term is unpredictable it rests on many IFs and BUTs...

Robert Frost said I took the road one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference... 


Was the difference good or bad he did not tell.. To be or not to be...

Damn Stupid

Is Intelligence really Intelligent?
What was intelligent yesterday,
Looks Damn Stupid today.

What has changed in between?
Was yesterday right or is today?

Our faculty of judgement changes
It changes with we changing
or we change with this faculty changing?
Life has changed in between
It is not today or yesterday
It is the change which has changed
Intelligent into Damn Stupid.

If you have not changed for better
You may become Damn Stupid.

Am I sounding Damn Stupid or Intelligent here?

Life and Hungry Stomach

Life is like the hungry stomach,
Wanting to have the greatest meal
Tasty meals, meals after meal,
with a dream of no end.
It fills only for a short duration
digests wiping off the past, wanting more
tasty meals, meals after meal
have a little more and you puke
experiment and you poison yourself

I am searching for the perfect meal
tasty everlasting meal...

More on Vipassana..

This blog is an attempt to answer  the frequently asked questions related to vipassana...

The first level of curiosity with everyone is what do you do in the 10 days, the 10 days is a royal treat you are a king with no responsibilities and no worries there and you are just supposed to focus on your self. You are there to pamper yourself but sans any external stimuli. You are cut off from the external world, no mobile, reading, writing, laptops, TV, talking of any type, no responsibility of cooking, ordering food, all is set and u are a guest there. for all the 10 days free from all such stimuli you are supposed to just focus on practice of meditation. 

The routine for meditation for some is tough and for some it is interesting as it is hard core deep meditation, I remember being attracted to it only for this reason. It is not like any other course where you meditate for some time and are back to daily world, this is in pure classical form... you work hard for 10 days only to see the fruits when it is over, till that time it is hard work. Net net you only meditate. Roughly 10.5 of hrs of meditation in a day and 1.5 hrs of lecture explaining the technique, no philosophy all practical.

What you do in meditation people think it is about introspection or focusing on a mantra, none in this. For the first 3 days there is practice of anapana which is a technique to sharpen concentration and getting ready for vipassana, 4th day one gets to do vipassana.. Vipassana well that is a meditation through which you observe the programming as explained in my earlier blog and try control it. It sounds complex but it is not. 

The next question what is in it for me? what are the benefits - Freedom, peace, happiness, strong mind, control over self, emotions; reduced dependency on stimuli (senses and mind objects) for happiness... And then there are other physiological, psychological benefits.. people get rid of their psychological issues and some diseases as well. this as they say is a by product but not the end, the end is learning to be happy forever and happy @ infinite level.

The next question which is often asked is if you are detached/ less dependent and hence happy, will we not vegetate in life, needing nothing doing nothing just being happy. How will we work or enjoy the beauty around us? I am happy as is and not ready to give up my attachments which give me immense pleasure as on date it may be better to chase them than meditate and not wanting it....

To answer this one must answer  why does one chase, wanting pleasure and other outcomes related to senses. The indisputable answer to this is that the senses and its experience, outcomes makes me happy... happiness if is the end goal then why not be happy at all times.. With above you will be happy only for the times you have the senses titillated (which has a short life, for example taste of a chocolate or any others sensual experience all lasts for a few moments) and there is no guarantee you will get all you want at all times.. so if you dont want it you will be happy anyways, for longer durations and just be... Some of us think how can you be happy without these pleasures.. these pleasures are happiness. Thats a fallacy, happiness and sense experience if you observe are 2 separate entities. Happiness is a state of being, a state of mind - you dont feel the taste of good old favorite chocolate when you are happy, you feel a good taste and that may take you to a happy state, it is like a drug. If there is no such experience (chocolate taste at all times) you may not be happy but chasing more... if not chocolate some other such stimulus; it is like a drug. Imagine opposite of it you are in the state naturally and you done need any stimulus, that is real happiness in your control..  and that is what meditation teaches.

People get scared to hear above as that means giving up those sensual pleasures which we are attached to. Nothing of that sort happens but what it does is reduces dependency.. 

A mind unchecked, completely dependent on a stimuli is sick mind - example - a person who rapes - he has so much dependency on the act that he ends up doing it - he has no checks like morality, values, he is extremely selfish and wants irrespective how much it hurts the other.. why does he do it  - he wants it as he thinks that will make him powerful -thus happy, or whatever could be the reason but end goal is his own pleasure (and not causing pain to himself)... that is a dependent mind, sick mind; The example above is extreme but we all have some sickness like this, but the good guy feels guilty and feels pain when does some selfish act (even if the act is small) keeps a check with some effort; a bad/ sick guy does not feel guilt as his want and dependency is too high it and just hurt others time n again to get what he/ she wants

Meditation is a kind of check, tool to gain control; a tool to reverse the program which works at a unconscious level... 

With meditation you don't come out of all attachments its a gradual process you are just less dependent, more in control and are more happy.. it is an education on being happy. you can put the breaks as and when required or take the full path if you are ready and become a Buddha, free from all such attachments... or just use it as self improvement tool... decision is yours

Vipassana. The art of living

Often I am asked what is meditation especially vipassana. For me it is so much part of me and having never gone into theories just jumped into practical a while back I have never been able to answer it to my satisfaction. I wish to give a perfect answer which may encourage someone to take the course. 

Given have not been able to answer it well this is my attempt to explain it, hopefully next time i will do a better job. 

In simple terms vipassana is an exercise of mind, a comprehensive exercise which helps one understand the truth of our nature, helps in get in touch with oneself and that too at an experiential level and is beyond philosophical, psychology theories one gets to read or understands logically. 

One gets to experience the truth about oneself through internal observation. It is not an exercise of introspection but watching oneself and understanding the games which are played inside this life, your own life. Understanding oneself is the first step to improving oneself, so one can say it is a kind of education about self and life. 

In our daily life we keep programming ourselves basis the daily experience we have. This experience is fed to us through our 5 senses and mind. Each interaction is stored in form of a meaning, interpretation and that leads to a state of being - happiness or unhappiness. The state of being is thus stored in this program as desirable or undesirable. All of us are programmed thus each minute interaction of ours is stored thus. 

Minute could be as minute as the impact of me typing on the key boards, at the same time my mind thinking what to write, the smell in the room I am sitting, the butt paining due to sitting for long hours, mind feeding with some past memory of a great blog or something it is addicted to; at any point of time innumerable interactions are going on though we are only attentive to most gross interaction (unconscious mind is attentive to all)  and these interactions keep creating a state of being, desires and hatred. We are made of such millions of conclusions/ programs; the consequence are our personality, our state of being - lows and highs, value system, etc. Our basic nature is of being happy, calm and peaceful but we rarely are as we are reacting to all these interactions as stored inside all of us. Billions of such interactions, that is how we are programmed. 

Vipassana helps you understand this cycle of programming and how we could get free of this program and get to the state of calm, happiness and peace ! It trains the mind to be in control and not get led by this program of past experiences or future desires...