Silver Linings... Eventful 35th

I must confess, it did take a lot of courage to say what I said, it is not easy even if I pretend it to be. If it was a few years back I would have not been able to even come to this point, I would have definitely cleverly crafted a logic why it will not work, why I must not even attempt anything like this. This is the silver lining and has made it all worth!

I now know a little more what it means to be vulnerable, I have guarded myself all these years, have kept a distance and have been superficial. Of course this goes back in time and has to do with what I learnt about life early in life, in my school days, all those early experiences made me restricted. I realize this today and I am glad I made a beginning to be vulnerable. This is the silver lining and has made it all worth!

With all my training of mind, it still feels bad. However if it was the time when I was younger it would have left me in a terrible state, I would have constructed more walls, moved further to a secluded corner. I realize therefore what it feels, and how the training has had a positive impact, how it is helping me heal and how it is allowing me to live more. It has strengthened my resolve on how meditation works. This is the silver lining and has made it all worth!

My belief that I have an understanding of what it takes to live, armed with my own crafted theories which this blog is a proof of are shaken. I am very pleased about this as it has open doors for more theories, of answering the question which I am plagued by - In the purpose of life what role other people have as we aren't an island? This is the silver lining and has made it all worth!

Like everything this shall pass as time waits for none, but it is leaving a mark by giving me a lifelong learning which I could have never had otherwise. I have moved ahead with this. This is the silver lining and I am glad about it!

___________________________

p.s. - Inspired by the movie "Silver Lining Playbook" and the eventful 35th

Who is superior?

A conversation with a friend and he mentioned about 3 corporate ways after MBA, the question is which is right? Each believes his or her is the most superior

• Case 1: Slogs 18 hours draws INR 20 million salary, lifestyle affordability is great... making more than he/ she is capable of, ahead of the pack. 
• Case 2: Independent entrepreneur, live by own rules.. business not successful yet, opportunity cost is high but there is some purpose
• Case 3: Taken work a notch lower than the actual capability, works 8 hours, plays rest of the time. moderate lifestyle. Not living to full capability though.

Who is superior?

to be continued....

Human Being is not an Island... 2

If we are not an island and if life revolves around others, how do we master ourself, what rules, values, methods do we adopt to get the best out of others. These are the question which want to answer.

Others can destroy you as their demands are selfish, where do you draw the line?

Self patting gives the freedom, direct love is strong but can make you dependent, how to balance the two?

I am not an island,

You all are a part.

Human Being is not an Island

It is a simple statement but that is what has been bothering me these days, this is now the question I am bothered with after the purpose question.  

The question is our whole existence is circling around only one aspect - how I fit in the eyes of others, these others I choose, I make my tribe of friends, family and I extend this in my mind each day. We are not an island and others define us. 

I am drawn to the same point as expressed in the last few blogs - life gets meaning through how I am able to get acceptance and love from others. One is an indirect source where I live some ideas, lifestyle, values, etc. which I believe will get me that acceptance, even if that does not come I do believe that it is there as these are the ideals, values, lifestyles are the exalted ones in the eyes of others. The other is a direct source where you have a circle of family, friends who accept and love you for what you are- the ideas, lifestyle, values etc.  

Life revolves around getting this love directly through a circle of friends and family or indirectly through self patting based on actions which you believe your tribe will admire and love you for. The tribe could be invisible but you feel proud, you pat yourself albeit it is a mental process and not a real one. That is the job of mind, if this messes up you end up in a mental asylum or get depressed.  

Life Can be defined as below:

• What I think of myself in the context of OTHERS and 

• What OTHERS think of me or

Or

• How I love myself for values which I think OTHERS admire or makes me a good man and 

• The OTHERS who love me 

Life Simplified ... 2

I am meaningless if you, friends, family, other humans don’t exist. Life revolves around how we relate to other people - impressing them, connecting with them, spending time with like minded, getting famous, getting loved for what I am, getting acknowledged from others, etc. you and me may choose different mix of tools to establish this relation to others and this determines our life. 

This is the foundation of our daily lives and with this comes responsibility for others, it is a give and take relationship and is not a one way street. There is one caution though too much dependency on it can be fatal, balance always required between give and take.

In this era of technology, information, gadget led entertainment, etc we are forgetting this important aspect, we must just simplify, de clutter and spend some time understanding and tackling it. Life can be a lot more meaningful if we learn to manage this aspect, it is not complicated. 

Quotes..

From the movie " The Beach"

"I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something. And if you find that moment... It lasts forever"

"it's paradise. This is where the hungry come to feed. For mine is a generation that circles the globe and searches for something we haven't tried before. So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it"

"When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years"

"You hope, and you dream. But you never believe that something's gonna happen for you. Not like it does in the movies. And when it actually does, you want it to feel different, more visceral, more real. I was waiting for it to hit me, but it just wouldn't happen"

Life simplified

I had this thought while meditating, life is about self and others who have life... These are the only 2 dimensions we are dealing with but how complicated we have made the dealings with life.

Life about self  - It is about how you run yourself as a unit, how you become stronger and better. How you grow, how you seek happiness

Others who have life - These are the other living beings which give meaning to our existence, if I was the sole person living on the planet, imagine how life would have been. Today a lot of life about self is dependent on how I am interacting with others, how I am able to get support of others, I support them to get their support, it is a symbiotic relationship. 

Every aspect of our day to day action is directed towards either taking care of self or how it helps us connect with others who are living. Does anything else matter? The material wealth we generate, the knowledge, the wisdom, the gadgets we acquire all are directed towards self caring or what is valued by others. These are tools to achieve the end... 

What it meant to me was that life can be optimized directly through a direct relationship with others and self without having the convoluted tools. It is about spending time with self for growth and time with others. Time with others has to be non judgemental, full of love, friendship. 

I think social structures, festivals, marriage all are created to make this end easier. Marriage, Social structure is created for getting others into your life - others where there is non judgemental, loving and friendly time...Clever were architects who created these institutions.. In current times however these institutions seem to be dissolving and is that the reason for  increased psychological negativities?

Why do we build so many walls and complication, why all other circuitous ways? Is it fear in general, fear of failure, rejection?