Wednesday, January 1, 2014

I am happy with comfort zones

I am tired of listening to people that I need to challenge myself and move out of comfort zone.. Go challenge learn a new skill, play a guitar, or go start networking or partying, I am an introvert become an extrovert, go take a holiday alone and discover new places, make a new set of friends, change role as you are doing well in the role means you have learnt everything possible, find a girl for yourself you getting comfortable with self.. blah blah blah.. 

The amount of advise I on this from family and friends is unthinkable, the only silver lining is I am not alone.. Almost everyone gets it and there is enough written by experts that how comfort zone means I am a big loser :(. In fact I am better off as I don't indulge in self flagellation, this friend I was speaking to on the topic feels guilty as she is acting in accordance with comfort zone...

My argument is what's wrong with comfort zone? We chase happiness that's the meaning of life and the comfort zone by name itself means happiness, so why challenge and stress yourself and become uncomfortable? The only place I can agree is if this zone is inhibiting you to achieve what you wish to, like becoming a Head HR, go ahead and challenge as the goal is more important to you than the zone. But in general why keep moving out of the comfort zone. Please don't move my cheese, I like the predictability of it being here daily. I know the argument is that I will be less prepared to face challenge when environment changes, if it does I am ready to slog then. Adding stress and anxiety for fear of future and what may happen well I don't care. To those who believe in moving the zone time and again I will suggest be less fearful of future and the environment, it can change and go against you but at that time be ready to fight it, accept that reality. But for now don't be paranoid and just be happy and enjoy the comfort zone..

The only challenge which I like to take head on is my fears, as that's my goal to be fearless. This value is close to me as for a religious person is GOD. I am changing roles and I debated why am I moving out of my comfort zone, I am extremely happy with my role, the team I am working with. It is not the redundancy and growth as HR professional I am worried about then why? I have rationalized it now that it may help me practice new skills which I could not in the earlier years as I had a few fears, the fear is now gone and the new experience will give me to hone a few skills. Now I am looking forward to it......

Understanding Christmas

Christmas (Old English: Crīstesmæsse, meaning "Christ's Mass") is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ. "Xmas" is an abbreviation of Christmas found particularly in print, based on the initial letter chi (Χ) in Greek Khrīstos (Χριστός), "Christ", though numerous style guides discourage its use;

While the birth year of Jesus is estimated among modern historians to have been between 7 and 2 BC, the exact month and day of his birth are unknown. His birth is mentioned in two of the four canonical gospels. By the early-to-mid 4th century, the Western Christian Church had placed Christmas on December 25, a date later adopted in the East, although some churches celebrate on the December 25 of the older Julian calendar, which corresponds to January in the modern-day Gregorian calendar.

Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift giving, Christmas music and caroling, an exchange of Christmas cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various Christmas decorations, including Christmas trees, Christmas lights, nativity scenes, garlands, wreaths*, mistletoe, and holly. In addition, several closely related and often interchangeable figures, known as Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, and Christkind, are associated with bringing gifts to children during the Christmas season and have their own body of traditions and lore. Because gift-giving and many other aspects of the Christmas festival involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, the holiday has become a significant event and a key sales period for retailers and businesses. The economic impact of Christmas is a factor that has grown steadily over the past few centuries in many regions of the world

Family reunions and the exchange of gifts are a widespread feature of the season. Gift giving takes place on Christmas Day in most countries. Others practice gift giving on December 6, Saint Nicholas Day, and January 6, Epiphany.

A special Christmas family meal is traditionally an important part of the holiday's celebration, and the food that is served varies greatly from country to country. Some regions, such as Sicily, have special meals for Christmas Eve, when 12 kinds of fish are served. In the United Kingdom and countries influenced by its traditions, a standard Christmas meal includes turkey or goose, meat, gravy, potatoes, vegetables, sometimes bread and cider. Special desserts are also prepared, such as Christmas pudding, mince pies, and fruit cake.
In Poland and other parts of eastern Europe and Scandinavia, fish often is used for the traditional main course, but richer meat such as lamb is increasingly served. In Germany, France, and Austria, goose and pork are favored. Beef, ham, and chicken in various recipes are popular throughout the world.

A number of figures are associated with Christmas and the seasonal giving of gifts. Among these are Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus (derived from the Dutch for Saint Nicholas), Père Noël, and the Weihnachtsmann; Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas; the Christkind; Kris Kringle; Joulupukki; Babbo Natale; Saint Basil; and Father Frost.

The best known of these figures today is red-dressed Santa Claus, of diverse origins. The name Santa Claus can be traced back to the Dutch Sinterklaas, which means simply Saint Nicholas. Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in modern-day Turkey, during the 4th century. Among other saintly attributes, he was noted for the care of children, generosity, and the giving of gifts. His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts.

Saint Nicholas traditionally appeared in bishop's attire, accompanied by helpers, inquiring about the behaviour of children during the past year before deciding whether they deserved a gift or not. By the 13th century, Saint Nicholas was well known in the Netherlands, and the practice of gift-giving in his name spread to other parts of central and southern Europe. At the Reformation in 16th–17th-century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, corrupted in English to Kris Kringle, and the date of giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.

The modern popular image of Santa Claus, however, was created in the United States, and in particular in New York. The transformation was accomplished with the aid of notable contributors including Washington Irving and the German-American cartoonist Thomas Nast (1840–1902). Following the American Revolutionary War, some of the inhabitants of New York City sought out symbols of the city's non-English past. New York had originally been established as the Dutch colonial town of New Amsterdam and the Dutch Sinterklaas tradition was reinvented as Saint Nicholas.

*A wreath is an assortment of flowers, leaves, fruits, twigs or various materials that is constructed to resemble a ring. Wreaths are used typically as household ornaments, mainly as Christmas decorations to celebrate the birth of Christ. They are usually made from evergreens and symbolize strength, as evergreens last even throughout the harshest winters

Boxing Day takes place on December 26th and is only celebrated in a few countries. It was started in the UK about 800 years ago, during the Middle Ages. It was the day when the alms box, collection boxes for the poor often kept in churches, were traditionally opened so that the contents could be distributed to poor people. Some churches still open these boxes on Boxing Day.


Sunday, December 22, 2013

10 Steps to Greatness ..Forever.. Guaranteed..

I read an article in the Harvard Business Review on how I can become more effective at work.. then I read another article in Psychology today as how I can become smarter with life and be more happy. Then Stanford leadership had an article on becoming an effective leader, oh then how can I forget there were some beautiful quotes on Pinterest I cant take my mind off those, such wonderful wisdom to live life.. and well wonderful TED talks by Boyd Varty on Ubuntu and Stephen Cave on Death... and there are so many pending wisdom on my Gmail Account, Twitter, etc

Am I not really smart and great! The truth is all is bullshit as I have stuffed myself with a lot of thoughts of right philosophies to get everything in life yet everything is elusive.. This is just information and noble thoughts and more noble thoughts but the issue is of practicing the nobility.. 

All this has done till now is made me feel small.. showed me a big vacuum.. there is so much to do.... unfortunately I enjoy the theories and I keep reading... I enjoy because I can show off these theories on my Tweets and with others by talking about it with everyone I meet.. wonderful jargons.. It does feel great!

Enough of theories of greatness... This is the circle which now I wish to break and my resolution to self is to live a few top ones, challenge to experience it.. Ubuntu as taught by Boyd Varty, Focus as taught by Daniel Goleman... Fearlessness as taught by Vipassana will be the guiding factor.. That's my resolution.. It is formidable but life cannot be lived in the theories stored and catalouged in the mind... Life has to be lived.....

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Undertstanding Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is celebrated in the United States following the traditions of the first Pilgrims and Puritans at Plymouth (Massachusetts) who, legend has it, were thankful for a good harvest in 1621.
Historically, Thanksgiving has its roots in harvest festivals and days of religious worship, and Canadians celebrate a separate Thanksgiving also drawing upon these origins a little earlier in the year.
Today Thanksgiving has become a traditional time to get together with family or friends. The date is now regarded as a secular holiday to celebrate family.
Source - Telegraph UK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faUYJ9fMiGg

WIKIHOW:
Celebrated annually in the United States on the fourth Thursday in November, the holiday of Thanksgiving was first observed in 1621 and continues to be an American tradition today. Thanksgiving means many things to different people but for most, the holiday of Thanksgiving is synonymous with festive meals, parades, football, family and friends, and, of course, turkey. For many, it's also about spending time together, catching up and enjoying one another's company. The Thanksgiving holiday is a reminder to give thanks for the good things, people and providential events in our lives. How to celebrate Thanksgiving :
the Traditional Meal. The traditional meal of roasted turkeymashed potatoesstuffing, several types of vegetables such as sweet potatoes and squash,cranberry sauce, different pies, and a bread is fairly standard for most families and groups of celebrators. 
Making the table festive. The table decorations are done on Thanksgiving if one has a separate dining table available. Get the kids to help set the table as part of their contribution to the preparations.
Some traditional Thanksgiving holiday pursuits. These things are done before, during, or after the Thanksgiving meal. There are a few traditions associated with the Thanksgiving holiday that are enjoyed in many families, and here are a few things :

  • Gather around the TV and watch football. Spending hours watching football on Thanksgiving is a holiday favorite for many fans, and it's a great way to pass time before the meal. Alternatively, organize a backyard football game with family, friends, and neighbors for fun and a little exercise to make way for the meal.
  • Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV with the kids. Broadcast on television from New York City, the parade is extremely popular and viewed by millions at home. Take a break and attend a local Thanksgiving parade if time permits, or watch it on television.
Spend a little time reflecting on the meaning of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a chance for many families to spend time together after being apart for much of the year; it is a good time to reflect on the love that you have for one another, as well as sharing your thoughts about what you feel grateful for. Think of your family's own ways to express your gratitude on this day and in the year to follow, or be guided by some of the following suggestions:
  • Play the A to Z family gratitude game. Have everyone sit together so that they can hear and see one another. Going around the group of family and friends, have each person say what they're grateful for, according the whichever letter of the alphabet the player is up to. For example, player one says "I am grateful for Aunty Lorna", player two says "I am grateful for my brothers", and player three says "I am grateful for caring moms", etc. Keep going around the group until you've exhausted the alphabet. 
  • You can also create a new Thanksgiving tradition.

Consider helping the less fortunate for Thanksgiving. Volunteer time before or during Thanksgiving to help prepare meals at a homeless shelter, donate extra cans and packaged goods to a soup kitchen, start a food or clothing drive, make a donation. This can be an essential part of teaching your children about gratitude in action.
Find activities to do after the meal. Everyone's likely to feel a little drowsy and well fed after the meal. It's a great opportunity to settle down to some relaxing activities:

  • Walk as a family. Don't forget to take your dog for his usual walk too, especially if he's been getting snacks he'd normally not have.
  • Entertain guests. Play charades, tell stories, share photos around, catch up on news, etc.
  • Catch up on your reading. There is always something you've got on hold that you'd like to read; take this opportunity to do so.
  • Watch a movie. Check out the TV guide for any suitable movies, or pull out your favorite DVDs.
  • Play a board game. If the kids are still hyper, suggest that they make a board game and then play it!
Another link - http://kids.nationalgeographic.co.in/kids/stories/peopleplaces/thanksgiving-traditions/

Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Standards of Self and Disappointments

Story #1 - I had to make a presentation to a group on a subject which is close to my heart. I have done it many times earlier and have done well. I did not therefore needed to prepare. On the fateful day we started on time I made the right starts with the practiced opening but in between I faltered, it did not go well. I was disappointed. The self was questioning self, labeling self - Was I arrogant? Should I have not prepared? How could I?

Story #2 - I value giving, fearlessness and pushing myself to do better. I have been practicing Buddhist meditation technique Vipassana for last several years. There came an opportunity to volunteer for Vipassana. With my values it was a no brainer that I need to jump in and do my bit, but in between came my own pleasurable and comforting weekend plan which I had been waiting for. There began a conflict of what i must do, till the time of deadline of volunteering I was in pain, after that disappointed by self. A feeling of letting down self, How could I?  I do think I do my bit on the values, but still the self was questioning self...

Failing to meet own standards of self happens often, there are many moments you live up to it, there are few you fail as well. But the failure sometimes grips the mind so much that it can go on beating you, making you feel sad. The emotion unfortunately has no reason and does not look at win ratios but goes on like a broken record on that one failure and the mind automatically accumulates all such transgressions, adds negative adjectives. Result - restlessness or anxiety or sadness. 

These are the times to take solace in self forgiveness, self compassion - get silent and tell yourself "I forgive myself for being unable to live upto my expectations. It is a journey and next time I will try to do better". This does not stop here it may be worthwhile also to examine the values if they are in conflict with what you really are and believe in and have the next step planned.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Water Water Everywhere but not a Drop to Drink

I have read, understood, made notes of all the wisdom in books but the same damn wisdom I am not able to live!

In one of the Vipassana lectures Goenka ji explains there are 3 types of wisdom and with varying impact on life. In order of hierarchy of impact these are:


  1. Shrutpragya or Wisdom acquired through reading or listening wise thoughts 
  2. Chintan-Pragya or Wisdom acquired through thinking and analyzing whatever was heard or read
  3. Bhavanamayi Pragya or Wisdom acquired through experience
That's where the struggle is reading all the great thinkers in Twitter and using intellect to like a certain level of knowledge that is easy but to imbibe these in life, making this part of experience is what is a real struggle.

With all the knowledge dissemination through internet we have a generation of wisely informed people but with huge gap in practiced wisdom...

What we need to do is pick the thought which you relate to and exhibit courage to experience it, making it a part of life!

Damn the habits, fear & procrastination...

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Festivals of India - 1: Diwali

I am very ignorant about all festivals of India, it is very ironic since I have lived in India amongst people for whom these festivals are like religion, they celebrated and follow all rituals possible. This series of blog is an attempt for me to understand the festivals.. I begin today with Diwali which is today!

The following are excerpts from various sites on the web:

The name "Diwali" or "Divali" is a contraction of deepavali which translates into "row of lamps". Diwali involves the lighting of small clay lamps filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. These lamps are kept on during the night and one's house is cleaned, both done in order to make the goddess Lakshmi feel welcome. Firecrackers are burst because it is believed that it drives away evil spirits. During Diwali, all the celebrants wear new clothes and share sweets and snacks with family members and friends.

There are various legends pointing to the origin of Diwali or 'Deepawali.' Some believe it to be the celebration of the marriage of Lakshmi with Lord Vishnu. Whereas in Bengal the festival is dedicated to the worship of Mother Kali, the dark goddess of strength. In Jainism, Deepawali has an added significance to the great event of Lord Mahavira attaining the eternal bliss of nirvana. Diwali also commemorates the return of Lord Rama along with Sita and Lakshman from his fourteen year long exile and vanquishing the demon-king Ravana.

Diwali consists of three to five days of celebrations (the duration depends on where you come from or derive the celebratory traditions from). Each day of Diwali has its own tale, legend and myth to tell. 

  • The thirteenth day from Poornima (Full Moon) (Dhanatrayodashi or Dhanteras). This is the first day of Diwali. "Dhan" means "wealth" and teras means thirteenth day. This is the day for celebrating the goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth. For some places in India, the lamps are kept burning for Lord Yamaraj, the God of Death.
  • The fourteenth day (Chhoti Diwali or Narak chaturdashi). Hindus believe that this is the day that Lord Krishna destroyed the demon Narakasur, freeing the world from fear. Firecrackers are often let off from this day.
  • The new moon day (Diwali / Lakshmi puja / Lakshmipujan) of the dark fortnight of Ashvin. This is the actual day of Diwali, and the most significant day. If the house has not already been cleaned, it must be done early this day to welcome the Goddess Lakshmi. Gifts and sweets are exchanged on this day to strengthen bonds of love between family and friends. Firecrackers are let off after dinner.
  • The first day of the bright fortnight of Kartik (Balipratipada / Padiwa / Goverdhan puja / Varshapratipada). This is the day that Lord Krishna lifted the Govardhan Parvat to protect the Gokul people from Indra's wrath and King Vikramaditya was crowned.
  • The fifth and final day of the Diwali Festival (Bhai Dooj / Bhaiya Dooj). On the final day of Diwali, brothers and sisters renew sibling love, with sisters applying the sacred red tilak on the forehead of their brothers and praying for their long life, while brothers bless their sisters and provide gifts of love.

·         Not everyone includes the thirteenth day, and the separate holy festivals of Vasubaras and Bhaubij precede Diwali, and follow the Diwali Festival respectively.

What is done on Diwali
·        
  • Go shopping. It is customary to buy utensils and ornaments on the first day of Diwali
  • Clean the house and business premises thoroughly before the first Diwali day, or the Dhanteras.[3] Do the laundry, clean all the rooms and sort out your papers in both your home and business. It's like a spring cleaning of sorts, a "cleansing" ritual to rid yourself of any unnecessary elements in your environment. Draw small footprints using rice flour and vermillion powder over your house; this is a way of indicating that you're awaiting the arrival of the Goddess.
  • Make the entrance way to your home or business colourful using the traditional motifs of Rangoli designs. This is a joyful way to welcome the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity.
  • Burn lamps every night during the festival. In the evening, light small oil lamps (called "diyas") and place them around the home. Turn all the lights on and light some candles. The lamps symbolize knowledge or one's inner light, which brings about inner peace and fights off any traces of darkness and ignorance.
  • Light some firecrackers and fireworks. These are a common part of Diwali, used to symbolize warding off evil from your surroundings. They are usually set off in greatest numbers on the actual day of Diwali (the third day).
  • Wear new clothes and jewels on the second and third days. If you are a woman, try to obtain a sari, the traditional Indian dress for women. If you're a woman, wear an Indian blouse (known as sari) and top. Men normally wear kurthas, the national clothes for Indian men.
  • Bake sweets, snacks, and savouries. These are traditional offerings for Diwali and are given as gifts
  • Perform a "Lakshmi pooja". This is a ritual performed on Diwali day (the third day) in order to seek divine blessings from the Goddess of Wealth, Lakshmi, who helps those who strive to achieve wealth. It consists of an elaborate ritual using grains, leaves, coins, and idols to prepare a ceremony. During this ritual, you can invoke the Goddess by reciting the Vedic mantras or by thinking of her being showered with gold coins with two elephants standing one each side of her as you chant her name. Offerings are made and at the end, the aarti is performed quietly and a peaceful atmosphere should accompany the entire ritual.
  • Play games. Games are a part of the Diwali Festival, including card games, Rummy,  etc. It's not just for kids but for everyone! It's okay to play for money in card games but don't wager too much. The legend behind gambling on Diwali is that Goddess Parvati played dice with her husband Lord Shiva and declared that whoever gambles on Diwali night would prosper throughout the coming year
  • Care for your sibling. Brothers and sisters affirm sibling love and look after one another on the final day of Diwali. Cook for your sibling, give your sister presents, and tell your brother you love him and wish him a long life

 More on below links: 
  1. Wikipedia Link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali
  2. 10 reasons for celebrating Diwali - http://hinduism.about.com/cs/diwali/a/aa102003a.htm
  3. More about Diwali - http://www.hindujagruti.org/hinduism/festivals/diwali/celebration.php