More on Vipassana..

This blog is an attempt to answer  the frequently asked questions related to vipassana...

The first level of curiosity with everyone is what do you do in the 10 days, the 10 days is a royal treat you are a king with no responsibilities and no worries there and you are just supposed to focus on your self. You are there to pamper yourself but sans any external stimuli. You are cut off from the external world, no mobile, reading, writing, laptops, TV, talking of any type, no responsibility of cooking, ordering food, all is set and u are a guest there. for all the 10 days free from all such stimuli you are supposed to just focus on practice of meditation. 

The routine for meditation for some is tough and for some it is interesting as it is hard core deep meditation, I remember being attracted to it only for this reason. It is not like any other course where you meditate for some time and are back to daily world, this is in pure classical form... you work hard for 10 days only to see the fruits when it is over, till that time it is hard work. Net net you only meditate. Roughly 10.5 of hrs of meditation in a day and 1.5 hrs of lecture explaining the technique, no philosophy all practical.

What you do in meditation people think it is about introspection or focusing on a mantra, none in this. For the first 3 days there is practice of anapana which is a technique to sharpen concentration and getting ready for vipassana, 4th day one gets to do vipassana.. Vipassana well that is a meditation through which you observe the programming as explained in my earlier blog and try control it. It sounds complex but it is not. 

The next question what is in it for me? what are the benefits - Freedom, peace, happiness, strong mind, control over self, emotions; reduced dependency on stimuli (senses and mind objects) for happiness... And then there are other physiological, psychological benefits.. people get rid of their psychological issues and some diseases as well. this as they say is a by product but not the end, the end is learning to be happy forever and happy @ infinite level.

The next question which is often asked is if you are detached/ less dependent and hence happy, will we not vegetate in life, needing nothing doing nothing just being happy. How will we work or enjoy the beauty around us? I am happy as is and not ready to give up my attachments which give me immense pleasure as on date it may be better to chase them than meditate and not wanting it....

To answer this one must answer  why does one chase, wanting pleasure and other outcomes related to senses. The indisputable answer to this is that the senses and its experience, outcomes makes me happy... happiness if is the end goal then why not be happy at all times.. With above you will be happy only for the times you have the senses titillated (which has a short life, for example taste of a chocolate or any others sensual experience all lasts for a few moments) and there is no guarantee you will get all you want at all times.. so if you dont want it you will be happy anyways, for longer durations and just be... Some of us think how can you be happy without these pleasures.. these pleasures are happiness. Thats a fallacy, happiness and sense experience if you observe are 2 separate entities. Happiness is a state of being, a state of mind - you dont feel the taste of good old favorite chocolate when you are happy, you feel a good taste and that may take you to a happy state, it is like a drug. If there is no such experience (chocolate taste at all times) you may not be happy but chasing more... if not chocolate some other such stimulus; it is like a drug. Imagine opposite of it you are in the state naturally and you done need any stimulus, that is real happiness in your control..  and that is what meditation teaches.

People get scared to hear above as that means giving up those sensual pleasures which we are attached to. Nothing of that sort happens but what it does is reduces dependency.. 

A mind unchecked, completely dependent on a stimuli is sick mind - example - a person who rapes - he has so much dependency on the act that he ends up doing it - he has no checks like morality, values, he is extremely selfish and wants irrespective how much it hurts the other.. why does he do it  - he wants it as he thinks that will make him powerful -thus happy, or whatever could be the reason but end goal is his own pleasure (and not causing pain to himself)... that is a dependent mind, sick mind; The example above is extreme but we all have some sickness like this, but the good guy feels guilty and feels pain when does some selfish act (even if the act is small) keeps a check with some effort; a bad/ sick guy does not feel guilt as his want and dependency is too high it and just hurt others time n again to get what he/ she wants

Meditation is a kind of check, tool to gain control; a tool to reverse the program which works at a unconscious level... 

With meditation you don't come out of all attachments its a gradual process you are just less dependent, more in control and are more happy.. it is an education on being happy. you can put the breaks as and when required or take the full path if you are ready and become a Buddha, free from all such attachments... or just use it as self improvement tool... decision is yours

Vipassana. The art of living

Often I am asked what is meditation especially vipassana. For me it is so much part of me and having never gone into theories just jumped into practical a while back I have never been able to answer it to my satisfaction. I wish to give a perfect answer which may encourage someone to take the course. 

Given have not been able to answer it well this is my attempt to explain it, hopefully next time i will do a better job. 

In simple terms vipassana is an exercise of mind, a comprehensive exercise which helps one understand the truth of our nature, helps in get in touch with oneself and that too at an experiential level and is beyond philosophical, psychology theories one gets to read or understands logically. 

One gets to experience the truth about oneself through internal observation. It is not an exercise of introspection but watching oneself and understanding the games which are played inside this life, your own life. Understanding oneself is the first step to improving oneself, so one can say it is a kind of education about self and life. 

In our daily life we keep programming ourselves basis the daily experience we have. This experience is fed to us through our 5 senses and mind. Each interaction is stored in form of a meaning, interpretation and that leads to a state of being - happiness or unhappiness. The state of being is thus stored in this program as desirable or undesirable. All of us are programmed thus each minute interaction of ours is stored thus. 

Minute could be as minute as the impact of me typing on the key boards, at the same time my mind thinking what to write, the smell in the room I am sitting, the butt paining due to sitting for long hours, mind feeding with some past memory of a great blog or something it is addicted to; at any point of time innumerable interactions are going on though we are only attentive to most gross interaction (unconscious mind is attentive to all)  and these interactions keep creating a state of being, desires and hatred. We are made of such millions of conclusions/ programs; the consequence are our personality, our state of being - lows and highs, value system, etc. Our basic nature is of being happy, calm and peaceful but we rarely are as we are reacting to all these interactions as stored inside all of us. Billions of such interactions, that is how we are programmed. 

Vipassana helps you understand this cycle of programming and how we could get free of this program and get to the state of calm, happiness and peace ! It trains the mind to be in control and not get led by this program of past experiences or future desires...

The end....

Nobody can escape " the end". All ends and it is scary to see life atrophying... to death... I met my maternal granddad (Nana) he is aged in last 2 years, immobile, unable to hear, dependent on everybody else.. waiting. He still has a good mind and is calm, he is in that sense aging gracefully.. 

I only wish he had learnt some meditation and could practice now peacefully. I feel completely helpless and sorry, just cant do anything in this ordeal for him... I just wish him peace, happiness in this tough phase...

Old age could be so scary, never thought so. Death is not as scary as old age can be..... 

It all ends in ashes; If the end is ash,

What  beginnings I make each day?

What is security; power; money?

Is this life just a memory in creation?

Selfishness...... Vice or Virtue?

Perhaps this is very straight forward for most. We have been taught from the day as a child we would have understood the meaning of this.. Selfishness is a vice; selfless is a virtue.

But i have come to believe selfishness is a virtue.. Come to think of it Prince Sidhartha left his Father, newly wed wife, his country men who he was to lead to something which he believed in, what he thought is correct; was that not selfish? So did Swami Vivekanand, not sure if it is true but it is said his mother and sister could not take his departure into a ascetic life and lost their balance. 

They both great spiritual mean pursued what they thought is right for them they were selfish...Well that throws some of my wisdom foundation off the track..

I do think selfishness is a virtue if used sensibly... You are selfish if you stop a bully from bullying you... the bully is enjoying himself and you bearing it may make you either selfless or may be a coward... This was may be not the most apt example  but whenever you put your view/ happiness first you are being selfish... and well common sense says there is no harm in being happy... but at the same time cannot deny selfless is a virtue.. contradictions !

the answers to all of this is not straight forward, it is about the balance of  consequence: it is about the consequence of the selfless or selfish act (the consequence of act of bullying is vice for example)..how the consequence affect the ecosystem around you and where does it take you... 

unfortunately to all what we call wisdom there are no textbook answers..... all i can say selfishness is not just bad, it can lead to your happiness.. you need to know where to draw the line.

Is that her?

While growing up there are always the romantic notions of relationships, picture perfect dreams. Movies spoil our mind further, handsome men, beautiful woman, beauty and brain, ask and you shall get.. You grow up and you realize finding the right partner is not picture perfect... and the dream guy/ girl just does not pop up one fine day and all pieces of life fall together. The more u are grown, the more you are demanding of life (that we must be after all it is just one life), the more confusing it gets.. there are questions galore and few answers. Sometime wonder why did love and life not come with an answer key...

You meet the person who you think is all good but something is missing, you know it at times and other times u dont know what is missing but you know that something is missing... or maybe nothing is missing but you just are not ready yet, you dont feel it to commit.. you are not sure if this is it. endless debates you get into but no argument seem to convince you on any side.. you try ask many questions, look it through different angles but you still are not sure... you wonder am i being too silly and letting go of a good partner, am i too demanding and impractical.... another part tells you that you must not be hasty or compromise and then regret for a long time..

I must say here there is another category of people who always find everything perfect.. they live in a happy world.. I envy them, they perhaps have the answers which i dont have. Envy them also because i think  i am more or equally intelligent but still do not have the answer. I know they have the answers... so what is it what is it that they know and i do not? OR Is it that they dont have the answers but they are lucky and god is playing tricks with me... I am no sinner or less noble than they are, i dont think god is unfair... So this is not it, just that i need to solve this puzzle.

coming back to the point... should i be listening to intelligent words like "compromise and be practical" or just wait for that perfect moment when my heart flutters and say this is it. should i listen to the mind or wait for those emotions which will sweep me off my feet?

some intelligent people say emotions are a product of mind and they will come eventually so let go of your fears and with total commitment give in and you will not regret, listen to your mind heart will follow... alas i am not that intelligent i am waiting for my heart to beat, hear to melt that i forget the mind and all just falls in place... where do i draw the line?

 

time to attempt an answer... develop an answer key.. I need to drop the imaginary thresholds and picture perfect notions of romance say bye to mills and boons.. The reason i see plenty of people falling in love and falling out of it... when in love it is an adrenalin rush which one has of winning someone who you admire, it is all beautiful when you win and you prove yourself... you feel important and loved... but then familiarity breeds contempt or if not contempt it erodes away that feeling of important and loved.. you are equal now...

Love and such heightened emotion die with time, these are to be nourished and revived with different angles of relationships, one of the angle belongs to practicality and logic.. the answer lie in both sides of argument, the practical and emotion...

For the right person:

The practical side tell me that I should be able to spend quality time with the person and there has to be a compatibility. The practical side tell me that I should be able to feel proud of this person, consider equal or higher.

The emotional side tell me that I should be able to feel good with the person. It need not be a vortex of emotion, of being pampered. All this cannot last long, time and familiarity erodes the strength of any heightened emotion.

The practical side tell that nothing is tailor made and there are few must haves that I must list, if they are there I must let go off of the fear of being wrong... The must haves to be on all 4 planes - Physical, material, intellectual & emotional. A threshold i need to decide in all planes

Whether i will know the answer exactly I doubt that, I need not compromise at all but I need to let go of some fear and commit... i just need to get rid of these doubts and fear.... do i have the answers still? I doubt as it is no mathematical equation (wish it was), but a direction yes !

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This one is dedicated to a friend who is seeking answers, so I thought let me attempt an answer from my side, it is an attempt of theory from my perspective

Shut up Mind ! #1

You stop at a traffic light and see that beggar out of the window of your car, crippled, hungry, famished.. You feel terrible for him.. thank your stars wonder how lucky you are, just born lucky.. thank god.. and move on

Next traffic light you dont see a beggar, but that beautiful car, new swanky, stylish, chauffer driven with a young woman sitting reading a newspaper at back.. you wonder why her, what has she done to deserve it.. wish you were there in place of her.... how unlucky you are !

Time to say: Oh mind you shut up ! you are so confused !

Love simplified

We have complicated love by intelligent theories. I now think the mundane (but not abundant) love in life can be defined in two bullet points:

• You are loved if you are made feel special by the lover by doing just a few actions for you and only for you
• The lover in your eyes has to be someone you consider to be worthy. By worthy I mean you should be able to respect the individual. If a devil does something for you, you will write it off and not feel loved. But this lies in the eyes of the beholder and is subjective

It is as simple and to love is even more simpler just a few actions for the loved one and not thinking about yourself. Yet I see people find it very difficult to love for various innumerable reasons. These reasons we have unfortunately are very intelligent ones, no doubt about that :) I have my own intelligent reasons.....