Uncertainity

Embrace relational uncertainty. It's called romance. Embrace spiritual uncertainty. It's called mystery. Embrace occupational uncertainty. It's called destiny. Embrace emotional uncertainty. It's called joy. Embrace intellectual uncertainty. It's called revelation.

- Mark Batterson -

Yet again on Purpose....2

Purpose is Happiness
Happiness is Within,
Within is a journey.

A journey of endless miles,
A journey of multiple goals.

Action is the measure,
Growth is the measure,
Happiness is the measure,
Journey is the Purpose.
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This has become my favourite topic, I am obsessed with this question, partly as I cannot handle unsolvable riddles, and this riddle which I have been grappling me has reached a point that I need to have a clear point of view if not a solution.. :)

Here I go once again, my last blog brooded on - if there is any purpose per se? I was saying no there is none, and largely I tend to agree with that thought process and this is in continuation of the same thought process. Mostly we confuse good deeds as purpose, it is good for humankind and a worthy effort, it is to be appreciated but is that the purpose? My answer is no. 

The confusion which purpose as a word has created is largely due to surplus wealth, comfort and free time. People in earlier ages were busy in meeting ends and this was never a question. 

If you look at developed nations, the dominant thought on purpose, as their self help books and the numerous inspirational books define is - finding your passion, honing it and living it. The life as they see it is about fulfilling self, the premise is based on the fact that we are to serve ourselves first, each is responsible for self. In a way if we think deeply into this theory, it is about reaching your best possible potential, through developing a deep rooted attachment to an activity and spending hours of practice to become an expert. Spending hours can only happen as an outcome of deep rooted attachment. Further this philosophy assumes by doing this one will be a top ranked in the field, this is the main reason why the majority does not benefit from it. The assumption is deep rooted attachment will lead to expertise and you will be at the top, but unfortunately top place is only for 1 or few and we are billions and billions of souls residing on this planet. 

If you look at eastern philosophical constructs, the purpose has to have a higher purpose which would end in knowing the god, reaching perfection what mankind is capable of, not in material world but in the world of spirits or heaven or how god is defined. So the life purpose is about discovering the ultimate truth. This is a difficult ask as it involves giving up a lot of comfort and attachments, this is the reason a majority of us find it difficult to walk this path. 

The above 2 theories are on the extreme end, there are numerous theories which are in between the 2 extremes. Whatever said and done the above 2 extremes have one end in common - happiness of self, maximizing happiness and ending the suffering the difference is one is based on life ends here and hence maximising through your strengths and the other is based on life is beyond here and hence working for happiness beyond this life. 

If you closely examine further each has a worthy goal which keeps us occupied, fills our free time and gives us a purpose, of moving ahead to achieve and gives us the happiness we are looking for

To simplify this  - There is no elevated purpose, the purpose qualifies to  be purpose if it leads to an outcome of happiness. Happiness is the end of any purpose you choose.  

It can begin by having a goal, big or small. The journey to achieve it can itself be fulfilling if we do not get obsessed by the end but the continuous improvements you bring about from where you are, these improvements may not come instantly and may require days, sometime ages but the journey and effort is what it counts. 

The next question is what is the goal one can aspire for? We have multiple needs and the goals you set have to fulfil those needs, it begins with knowing yourself and knowing your real needs, this is an iterative process and hence goals will keep moving. 

The needs can limit to yourself or can be beyond you, can change for you from time to time. If you are single, it is more about personal needs, when married with kids it is beyond you, if you have dependent parents, the circle beyond extends more, and if you are really strong, prosperous, gifted the circle can grow further for community, nation, world. 

It is about the goals which grow you, make stronger, help conquer negativity, fear and infuse positivity, happiness, courage and in effect help fulfil your needs which will make you happier. 

Yet again on Purpose...

This seems to be my favourite topic.. comes from a deep desire to do more out of life, and perhaps also has to do with the way my life is going on currently.. at work front I have accomplished quite a bit but my heart keeps telling me life is much beyond it.. And because I am working hard I am unable to get time to give time to other activities which I think could help me extract more from life. ..I want more and hence it bothers me -  what can I do more to have even more out of life... It also has to do with the fact that I have no other distraction in life it is either work or me.. there are no addictions, kids, partners who fill up the time and leave no room for such questions.. I am back yet again on what more? What more, the question makes me feel greedy, however I am not perturbed.. I am greedy for life, happiness, fulfilment. 

Though I have tried to answer this question couple of  times earlier, those attempts I tried to make a roadmap on how one can have a purpose.. feel inadequate, put sustained effort and commit... it will come.. it has been more to do away with inertia.. but currently I am stuck up with a tangential thought and that is  - is there a purpose? Is it not an illusion? Is it not just a defence mechanism to give yourself to hard work without thinking of what I will achieve? It is perhaps a way of coming to this answer through elimination.. so here I go

The thought rests in the fact that after all life ends in ashes, and none remembers. It ends and even if it may have been etched in some history books.. you are no longer living it.. someone is just reading it to get kicks for her life.. The first point is life ends so where will any purpose take you, anyway.. so why bother so much of accomplishing and trying to create a monument of your life which may some day be called the 9th wonder of world? Is it worth it? My point is that purpose is not leaving your name in history books for next generation.. It is not about creating any edifice, of becoming the richest, the smartest.. it ends all ends... If it is not about achievement then what can be purpose about.. all the purpose people talk and I have till now heard is about where do you want to be...

The new age psychologists who study fulfilment through work these days, say it is about aligning your life with your motivations and value system through a series of positive actions.. These are rooted in your personality which is stable over time, align it and you feel good.. for example you may value altruism so you find ways to align your actions around that.. or you may value money so you align yourself towards work which gives you the same.. Alas this also does not answer, as we a re so multidimensional and motivations are like a shifting goal post, you have money and you will need power, you have power and you may need fame, you have that and you may need something else.. It is a circle and desires in general don't fulfil anything..fulfilling desires is impossible and my point is it is also not a purpose.. so what is left to have a purpose?

If you are reading this at this point, you may want to raise your hand and say purpose is about helping others in need.. The question is  - Is it a purpose or a worthy action? Help people in need cannot be a purpose but a responsibility, a higher action in the hierarchy of actions categorized under humanity... A way to pay it back for all you have got from others, a way to acknowledge that all of us are social animals and need love, help, support and it does not come unless we extend it ourselves. A way to a peaceful life, a way to fulfil a deep desire which we all have of seeking love and companionship, and it is only possible if we also give.. it is not a one way traffic.. overall energy on the planet remains same, it can be rooted in goodness or evil.. the more goodness the more happiness.. These actions are not purpose but the right way to act, even in this there are so many variants, causes to work for - education, people with special needs, poverty, sick, environment, corruption, etc. These actions are important to do our bit to save humanity for a future generation, make future life better and not a purpose...

If purpose is not achievement, fulfilling needs, doing good - Can there be a purpose? is purpose a myth an intellectual debate of mind to keep us distracted from what we must do, a strategy of mind to make us lethargic, keep us away from hard work in the work we have taken, in fulfilling responsibility? a way of mind to procrastinate, not accept our imperfections by believing we are not being perfect as it is not what we really are meant to do.. I don't know 

By writing again and again on this, I am convinced, there is no higher purpose to be looked for. Purpose for me is to be honest with life, taking the daily life steps with all I have got, to handle the questions of life rooted in here and now. Future is unpredictable I just need to find a balance between my responsibility towards my self, others who are my responsibility - kids, partner, parents, friends and towards my desires which make me feel good.. All bounded within a value system which constitute good karma, which means I don't act in fear, greed, weakness, don't harm someone for my gain..... 

It is about a balance between responsibility, love n care and my desires. A balance much hard to achieve as life has much subjectivity, each moment testing us to take decision which can either bring this balance or disrupt it....Right effort for the same is the purpose, that's all ! Discovering yourself is the purpose, that's all! Trying to move ahead is the purpose, that's all......

Purpose...

"We have lived our lives by the assumption that what was good for us would be good for the world. We have been wrong. We must change our lives so that it will be possible to live by the contrary assumption, that what is good for the world will be good for us. And that requires that we make the effort to know the world and learn what is good for it.-- Wendell Berry

Purpose - 2

What is the purpose of my life? I meet many frustrated, bored people who lack purpose, and are looking for more meaning in life. I wonder what is a worthy purpose to aspire for? Are all purposes not having the same end - your happiness? Can there be just one purpose?

To answer some of these questions I thought about the heroes of the past and today, who were/ are determined to do something larger than their own self. Most I realize have a single minded focus and seem to have a purposeful life. The difference I concur between the heroes and the non heroes is a long term goal, to which they dedicate themselves. There are 2 aspects - 1) having a long term goal 2) single minded dedication.

Take a minute to think about all the people who you have met or read about who you believe have a clear purpose. I bet for all those people the above definition will fit in, they have a dedicated long term goal and they put their heart and soul to it. 

It is as easy as above, it does not need to be rooted in philanthropy or compassion or some idealism. Mother Teresa had a purpose so did Mark Zuckerberg. One may debate one purpose to be higher than the other, but that is a judging through a value system. Who is superior is not the question but it is an evolving phenomenon, Bill Gates had a purpose when he wanted to build Microsoft, he now has a purpose working to better society through his foundation. There are stages as per the life demands and your own wisdom, which are to be acknowledged, judgement of what is higher is needless. 

One just needs to have a long term goal and stick to it, the next logical  question is if this is so simple why do most struggle to have a purposeful, meaningful, fulfilling life?  This is a difficult question to answer and there could be many reasons, I have listed some which I think are the top ones, I will be happy to hear from all the readers what they think could be the reasons. I will recommend you make your own set of reasons what has been stopping you and see how you can overcome them

Reasons:

1. Choices - We are spoilt by choices, have multiple interests, desires and get lost in trying to have all. We need to make a choice of one, and often are lost in trying to decide which one? The key will be to decide one for now and follow the rest at a later date. An example - you meet many interesting people in life but you only marry one at a time; you have to decide and commit
2. Not knowing self - Many of us are so lost in managing what others want or running the rat race that we are not in touch with ourselves, not knowing what we really are good at or what we enjoy. Not knowing self can be very confusing to set a goal. Sometimes we have to try something new, even if it feels stupid to just know if this is it or not. 
3. Commit - This is very difficult the choices keep tempting us, confusing us. One has to just follow a 6 month rule - We must commit to this -  for next six months I am dedicating myself to a goal and will rest all doubts for later
4. Inertia  - This is another roadblock, any single minded focus means a lot of effort and many of us find it difficult to take the first step. Wise people say often the first steps are the most difficult to take. Each day one has to push oneself before you get into a rhythm and start enjoying the journey. Sometimes it is this inertia which makes us feel frustrated and we fool ourselves by not acting but blaming the world, blaming our inadequacies, our environment, lack of support from friends & family, for a lack of purpose in life.
5. Setbacks - We tend to stop focussing on the goal and start getting blocked by not being successful or  fear of failure. The goal is not about success or failure but about the journey, it is a long term one in which we need to just learn to move ahead from the position we are at right now. Even an inch of improvement is success. Setbacks can also waiver commitment, lead to inertia or increase the confusion

Optimism or Pessimism or Somewhere in Between

There are advocates of optimism who swear by it as the panacea for all ills, guaranteeing happiness. Pessimism sits on the other end of this equation is considered to be a reason for unhappiness. These advocates of optimism are ranging from leading psychologists to wise people who have best sellers in their list. In fact this belief of optimism is more of an outcome of media. They fill us with stories of heroism against all odds, the zero becomes a hero, battling  all odds of life, and in the end perseverance backed by optimism changes fortune.

My take on this is different, as media tells us there are many whose dreams come true, but there are many more whose dreams are not met, and there are many who end up in drugs, asylum, prisons, unemployment, etc. People who buy this philosophy have selectively beamed information as they think is right. 

My take is optimism is as good as pessimism, if there is anything which works and can bring you happiness is realism. It is not my idea but my own interpretation of what I hear in the Indian philosophical system. It is a common saying here in India and most of the philosophical texts contain the same truth in some form or the other. Karma Kar Phal Ke Chinta Mat Kar - This translates to do your bit but don't bother about fruits. It essentially advocates right effort and leaving the outcome out of it. The outcome can be anything, but what should be the goal of the individual is the effort he or she puts in. It is not about being optimist or pessimist but just being neutral, all energies directed towards the effort. 

Why I believe this works best? Being an optimist may initially encourage you to put an effort but it may or may not lead to the desired outcome, unfortunately the outcome is dependent on many other factors - people around you, environment, competition, luck, etc. An optimist will find it difficult to deal with the situation when the outcome does not turn out to be the way s/he was dreaming of and is bound to get frustrated and turn pessimist. Pessimism can be definitely worse than optimism as it does not even give the initial impetus to put in effort. 

An example  - A student, who has got a low grade, is optimist and believes will cover up in the final exams so that the overall grades will be better. The optimism coaxes him or her to work hard towards the grade. On the other hand pessimist considered low grade as fait accompli and does not put in any effort. What is better? Optimism.. definitely... 

However on the day of the exam  the student got ill, had a terrible headache and could not do well. Imagine now how unhappy the student will be? He wanted the grade, he was looking forward to it, made the efforts but alas it did not work out. Who will be more happier in this case, I guess the pessimist as his expectations were lower and he met them so a reason to be happy but the optimist will cry for a long time and curse his luck.. 

Consider now the student who had put in effort as grades are important, focussed on effort and not much on the grades or he bet on effort  = high grades. Illness will disappoint him or her but he will be happy with the journey of effort and will take solace in the fact there was right effort but was slightly unlucky...

That's what I believe in, good times or bad times nothing survive, there is another saying - this too shall pass.. What matters is the effort which you have put in and nothing else, the outcome is just a bonus. 

However let me end by telling you my view point is an ideal one, I will rate optimism far ahead of pessimism  and it is perhaps a journey to be taken  - from pessimism to optimism to realism focussed on effort.