Saturday, April 4, 2020

Life is Simple

I vaguely remember long time ago I saw a very interesting TED Talk about how Life is Simple. It was about a man who from his village went to town and realized that people at towns have complicated life. He goes on to live in his village and his mantra was to remove all what is not necessary. Lived a life which most spiritual texts will teach you. 

While I don't endorse his life decisions but he does make a valid point life is indeed simple but we complicate it. We complicate it by defining rigid boundaries on perspectives as to what is right or wrong, by wearing colored glasses and seeing only red (fear/ anger/ negative) around us as our mental state is of fear and worry... The modern term to this is confirmatory bias... A bias towards how tough life is, how I am being mistreated, How I am having a tough life and all other are relishing their lives... 

Just stop and slow down.. not to slow down activity but slow down your mind, that's all it needs to simplify life. Mind is a dangerous animal, and if untamed it can only complicate self through conformation bias, and rigid definitions of how people should be, people should think, what is the right perspective and how no one else understands what your mind understands....

Easier said than done though... But if you don't put in an effort.. deliberate practice then how do you intend to come out of this vicious circle? What choice do you have other than acting to fight it? The only choice you have be a victim or figure a way out.... 

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Deliberate Practice

"Deliberate Practice" and not just practice leads to improvement. It is a beautiful concept I learnt aeons ago... Deliberate practice is purposeful and systematic, requires focused attention with the specific goal of improving an aspect of performance… Has a feedback loop to know how you doing and try again..

Regular practice is mindless repetition and not necessary leading to Improvement. 

Concept is great but to really do is a real challenge. 

Story of a Mugger and Wise Man

The wise man Peace Anand was returning from his friends place to his hostel. It was late and he was walking alone on the street. Suddenly he is surrounded by three young men, armed with clubs and knifes.The leader Restless Dukh is a tall 6 feet healthy fellow.

Restless to Peace - Hey you bugger where the fuck do you think you are going? Stop you ass we will beat the shit out of you.

Peace just stops. He does not say a word, he knows what is coming his way.

Restless - Don't you bloody have a tongue, cant you speak? Hand over your wallet, phone and all that you got.

Peace still does not speak and hands over the wallet and his mobile. He has no other thing to give. One of the other fellow comes form back and he holds him tight, another fellow comes and searches him if Peace is hiding anything. They get nothing.

Peace, at this moment says to restless in a calm way - Sir, Can you keep all which is useful for you and handover me the license, my passport.  It will help me

Something struck Restless, fearless calm voice had an impact. When 3 men are holding him, he could be killed. No one will know if that happens. Still the voice was just filled with calmness and sounded as if nothing matters, he seemed to be returning some kind of a loan to friend and asking for a small favour. Restless had been in such situations many times, always either the men shiver in fear or try show their anger, frustration mixed with fear. This chap nothing seem to matter sir can you return what is useless. Is he out of his mind. What the shit I can return it is not useful for me anyways, he has not shown any hatred, anger towards me and has done as i said. He seems to be giving me respect. Damn why should I return and have a soft corner. or what the shit let me give him what he wants.

Restless says - I will if there is enough money, if not you go to hell. He opened the Wallet there was 5K; Dont you have a credit card, this is awful lot of money...cool Huh

I am saving on transaction fee, I am a foreign student on a shoe string budget.

You need the money more than me. So what you are doing is legit, If i need it more i would have fought for it for my life. would have cursed you.

I will manage i have seen many difficult times. I will work hard borrow and return. you have earned this through your profession. I am sure you have a logical thought if you think you are sinning you would be depressed by now. you think it is right to do and hence you doing it. How do i hold it against you.

Right or wrong is subjective to the one who is processing it. And that's it, some day you may see some other logic. In our country there is only one logic if your action does not harm anyone  it is legit, It is stealing. but your reality is making u do it, so how do I blame you. Can I blame your reality which is what is their in your mind? I don't want to; walk the path of anger and frustration.... I will work hard and manage. 

Saturday, July 4, 2015

Unspoken Thoughts

Writing after a hiatus... I was caught up with the illusions of life... I am happy to be back today in acknowledging the unspoken thoughts.. Away from the so seeming illusions of life... however tomorrow is yet another day...

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

In Defense of my Stubbornness

My friends, family, my bosses all call me stubborn.. The say it in different ways but it means the same - Stubborn! Sensitive as I am to criticism it does feel a little bad, and I wonder am I, is it bad? Can I do better... The cycle of questions to figure out if I am on the right track or not begins.. 

Sensitive I am but I am also a Narcissist :) This come to my rescue and I am here to defend my stubbornness, I now know that it is the best quality to have :)

In general I am stubborn to my viewpoint, this is the context I am called stubborn. In the context, the opposite of stubborn will be capricious, fickle minded and I am glad I am not the one. I do have views on topics and my views I form after some thought so I like to stick to my own comprehension and worldview. 

This stickiness I consider a strength which helps me stick to my decisions and own up, this helps me to put effort to execute to what I have decided, I stick my neck out to what I believe in, that's the stubbornness I have. What's the fun in living life and decisions of others, I like to learn on my own terms. Will I change my views, yes but with a lot of difficulty I need to have my worldview changed, I am trying to listen and observe better but change is albeit slow. I am at a position where I can decide so I like stubborn as I have accountability of my decisions, so unless convinced otherwise I like to stick to my views. I don't mind others to live as per their own conviction, I will not force my views on their life. 

To all those who are not stubborn I will say when it comes to your decisions be stubborn, don't let others rule you. You will feel in control and own up your destiny. If Gandhi was not stubborn to Britishers we would have not got Independence, if Mandela was not stubborn apartheid would have remained in Africa, if Mother Teresa was not stubborn she would have never stayed in India reducing the suffering. Stubbornness in some sense is also linked to perseverance and all leaders are stubborn... don't call me a Narcissist now please, I will defend that even better :). Be stubborn........

P.S. - Just wondering how these labels affect us, most do not appreciate the context and can out you down.. Stubbornness and Narcissism can be our shield with doses of self awareness and introspection.

I am happy with comfort zones

I am tired of listening to people that I need to challenge myself and move out of comfort zone.. Go challenge learn a new skill, play a guitar, or go start networking or partying, I am an introvert become an extrovert, go take a holiday alone and discover new places, make a new set of friends, change role as you are doing well in the role means you have learnt everything possible, find a girl for yourself you getting comfortable with self.. blah blah blah.. 

The amount of advise I on this from family and friends is unthinkable, the only silver lining is I am not alone.. Almost everyone gets it and there is enough written by experts that how comfort zone means I am a big loser :(. In fact I am better off as I don't indulge in self flagellation, this friend I was speaking to on the topic feels guilty as she is acting in accordance with comfort zone...

My argument is what's wrong with comfort zone? We chase happiness that's the meaning of life and the comfort zone by name itself means happiness, so why challenge and stress yourself and become uncomfortable? The only place I can agree is if this zone is inhibiting you to achieve what you wish to, like becoming a Head HR, go ahead and challenge as the goal is more important to you than the zone. But in general why keep moving out of the comfort zone. Please don't move my cheese, I like the predictability of it being here daily. I know the argument is that I will be less prepared to face challenge when environment changes, if it does I am ready to slog then. Adding stress and anxiety for fear of future and what may happen well I don't care. To those who believe in moving the zone time and again I will suggest be less fearful of future and the environment, it can change and go against you but at that time be ready to fight it, accept that reality. But for now don't be paranoid and just be happy and enjoy the comfort zone..

The only challenge which I like to take head on is my fears, as that's my goal to be fearless. This value is close to me as for a religious person is GOD. I am changing roles and I debated why am I moving out of my comfort zone, I am extremely happy with my role, the team I am working with. It is not the redundancy and growth as HR professional I am worried about then why? I have rationalized it now that it may help me practice new skills which I could not in the earlier years as I had a few fears, the fear is now gone and the new experience will give me to hone a few skills. Now I am looking forward to it......

Understanding Christmas

Christmas (Old English: Crīstesmæsse, meaning "Christ's Mass") is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ. "Xmas" is an abbreviation of Christmas found particularly in print, based on the initial letter chi (Χ) in Greek Khrīstos (Χριστός), "Christ", though numerous style guides discourage its use;

While the birth year of Jesus is estimated among modern historians to have been between 7 and 2 BC, the exact month and day of his birth are unknown. His birth is mentioned in two of the four canonical gospels. By the early-to-mid 4th century, the Western Christian Church had placed Christmas on December 25, a date later adopted in the East, although some churches celebrate on the December 25 of the older Julian calendar, which corresponds to January in the modern-day Gregorian calendar.

Popular modern customs of the holiday include gift giving, Christmas music and caroling, an exchange of Christmas cards, church celebrations, a special meal, and the display of various Christmas decorations, including Christmas trees, Christmas lights, nativity scenes, garlands, wreaths*, mistletoe, and holly. In addition, several closely related and often interchangeable figures, known as Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, and Christkind, are associated with bringing gifts to children during the Christmas season and have their own body of traditions and lore. Because gift-giving and many other aspects of the Christmas festival involve heightened economic activity among both Christians and non-Christians, the holiday has become a significant event and a key sales period for retailers and businesses. The economic impact of Christmas is a factor that has grown steadily over the past few centuries in many regions of the world

Family reunions and the exchange of gifts are a widespread feature of the season. Gift giving takes place on Christmas Day in most countries. Others practice gift giving on December 6, Saint Nicholas Day, and January 6, Epiphany.

A special Christmas family meal is traditionally an important part of the holiday's celebration, and the food that is served varies greatly from country to country. Some regions, such as Sicily, have special meals for Christmas Eve, when 12 kinds of fish are served. In the United Kingdom and countries influenced by its traditions, a standard Christmas meal includes turkey or goose, meat, gravy, potatoes, vegetables, sometimes bread and cider. Special desserts are also prepared, such as Christmas pudding, mince pies, and fruit cake.
In Poland and other parts of eastern Europe and Scandinavia, fish often is used for the traditional main course, but richer meat such as lamb is increasingly served. In Germany, France, and Austria, goose and pork are favored. Beef, ham, and chicken in various recipes are popular throughout the world.

A number of figures are associated with Christmas and the seasonal giving of gifts. Among these are Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus (derived from the Dutch for Saint Nicholas), Père Noël, and the Weihnachtsmann; Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas; the Christkind; Kris Kringle; Joulupukki; Babbo Natale; Saint Basil; and Father Frost.

The best known of these figures today is red-dressed Santa Claus, of diverse origins. The name Santa Claus can be traced back to the Dutch Sinterklaas, which means simply Saint Nicholas. Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in modern-day Turkey, during the 4th century. Among other saintly attributes, he was noted for the care of children, generosity, and the giving of gifts. His feast on December 6 came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts.

Saint Nicholas traditionally appeared in bishop's attire, accompanied by helpers, inquiring about the behaviour of children during the past year before deciding whether they deserved a gift or not. By the 13th century, Saint Nicholas was well known in the Netherlands, and the practice of gift-giving in his name spread to other parts of central and southern Europe. At the Reformation in 16th–17th-century Europe, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, corrupted in English to Kris Kringle, and the date of giving gifts changed from December 6 to Christmas Eve.

The modern popular image of Santa Claus, however, was created in the United States, and in particular in New York. The transformation was accomplished with the aid of notable contributors including Washington Irving and the German-American cartoonist Thomas Nast (1840–1902). Following the American Revolutionary War, some of the inhabitants of New York City sought out symbols of the city's non-English past. New York had originally been established as the Dutch colonial town of New Amsterdam and the Dutch Sinterklaas tradition was reinvented as Saint Nicholas.

*A wreath is an assortment of flowers, leaves, fruits, twigs or various materials that is constructed to resemble a ring. Wreaths are used typically as household ornaments, mainly as Christmas decorations to celebrate the birth of Christ. They are usually made from evergreens and symbolize strength, as evergreens last even throughout the harshest winters

Boxing Day takes place on December 26th and is only celebrated in a few countries. It was started in the UK about 800 years ago, during the Middle Ages. It was the day when the alms box, collection boxes for the poor often kept in churches, were traditionally opened so that the contents could be distributed to poor people. Some churches still open these boxes on Boxing Day.


Sunday, December 22, 2013

10 Steps to Greatness ..Forever.. Guaranteed..

I read an article in the Harvard Business Review on how I can become more effective at work.. then I read another article in Psychology today as how I can become smarter with life and be more happy. Then Stanford leadership had an article on becoming an effective leader, oh then how can I forget there were some beautiful quotes on Pinterest I cant take my mind off those, such wonderful wisdom to live life.. and well wonderful TED talks by Boyd Varty on Ubuntu and Stephen Cave on Death... and there are so many pending wisdom on my Gmail Account, Twitter, etc

Am I not really smart and great! The truth is all is bullshit as I have stuffed myself with a lot of thoughts of right philosophies to get everything in life yet everything is elusive.. This is just information and noble thoughts and more noble thoughts but the issue is of practicing the nobility.. 

All this has done till now is made me feel small.. showed me a big vacuum.. there is so much to do.... unfortunately I enjoy the theories and I keep reading... I enjoy because I can show off these theories on my Tweets and with others by talking about it with everyone I meet.. wonderful jargons.. It does feel great!

Enough of theories of greatness... This is the circle which now I wish to break and my resolution to self is to live a few top ones, challenge to experience it.. Ubuntu as taught by Boyd Varty, Focus as taught by Daniel Goleman... Fearlessness as taught by Vipassana will be the guiding factor.. That's my resolution.. It is formidable but life cannot be lived in the theories stored and catalouged in the mind... Life has to be lived.....

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Undertstanding Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is celebrated in the United States following the traditions of the first Pilgrims and Puritans at Plymouth (Massachusetts) who, legend has it, were thankful for a good harvest in 1621.
Historically, Thanksgiving has its roots in harvest festivals and days of religious worship, and Canadians celebrate a separate Thanksgiving also drawing upon these origins a little earlier in the year.
Today Thanksgiving has become a traditional time to get together with family or friends. The date is now regarded as a secular holiday to celebrate family.
Source - Telegraph UK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faUYJ9fMiGg

WIKIHOW:
Celebrated annually in the United States on the fourth Thursday in November, the holiday of Thanksgiving was first observed in 1621 and continues to be an American tradition today. Thanksgiving means many things to different people but for most, the holiday of Thanksgiving is synonymous with festive meals, parades, football, family and friends, and, of course, turkey. For many, it's also about spending time together, catching up and enjoying one another's company. The Thanksgiving holiday is a reminder to give thanks for the good things, people and providential events in our lives. How to celebrate Thanksgiving :
the Traditional Meal. The traditional meal of roasted turkeymashed potatoesstuffing, several types of vegetables such as sweet potatoes and squash,cranberry sauce, different pies, and a bread is fairly standard for most families and groups of celebrators. 
Making the table festive. The table decorations are done on Thanksgiving if one has a separate dining table available. Get the kids to help set the table as part of their contribution to the preparations.
Some traditional Thanksgiving holiday pursuits. These things are done before, during, or after the Thanksgiving meal. There are a few traditions associated with the Thanksgiving holiday that are enjoyed in many families, and here are a few things :

  • Gather around the TV and watch football. Spending hours watching football on Thanksgiving is a holiday favorite for many fans, and it's a great way to pass time before the meal. Alternatively, organize a backyard football game with family, friends, and neighbors for fun and a little exercise to make way for the meal.
  • Watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV with the kids. Broadcast on television from New York City, the parade is extremely popular and viewed by millions at home. Take a break and attend a local Thanksgiving parade if time permits, or watch it on television.
Spend a little time reflecting on the meaning of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a chance for many families to spend time together after being apart for much of the year; it is a good time to reflect on the love that you have for one another, as well as sharing your thoughts about what you feel grateful for. Think of your family's own ways to express your gratitude on this day and in the year to follow, or be guided by some of the following suggestions:
  • Play the A to Z family gratitude game. Have everyone sit together so that they can hear and see one another. Going around the group of family and friends, have each person say what they're grateful for, according the whichever letter of the alphabet the player is up to. For example, player one says "I am grateful for Aunty Lorna", player two says "I am grateful for my brothers", and player three says "I am grateful for caring moms", etc. Keep going around the group until you've exhausted the alphabet. 
  • You can also create a new Thanksgiving tradition.

Consider helping the less fortunate for Thanksgiving. Volunteer time before or during Thanksgiving to help prepare meals at a homeless shelter, donate extra cans and packaged goods to a soup kitchen, start a food or clothing drive, make a donation. This can be an essential part of teaching your children about gratitude in action.
Find activities to do after the meal. Everyone's likely to feel a little drowsy and well fed after the meal. It's a great opportunity to settle down to some relaxing activities:

  • Walk as a family. Don't forget to take your dog for his usual walk too, especially if he's been getting snacks he'd normally not have.
  • Entertain guests. Play charades, tell stories, share photos around, catch up on news, etc.
  • Catch up on your reading. There is always something you've got on hold that you'd like to read; take this opportunity to do so.
  • Watch a movie. Check out the TV guide for any suitable movies, or pull out your favorite DVDs.
  • Play a board game. If the kids are still hyper, suggest that they make a board game and then play it!
Another link - http://kids.nationalgeographic.co.in/kids/stories/peopleplaces/thanksgiving-traditions/

Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Standards of Self and Disappointments

Story #1 - I had to make a presentation to a group on a subject which is close to my heart. I have done it many times earlier and have done well. I did not therefore needed to prepare. On the fateful day we started on time I made the right starts with the practiced opening but in between I faltered, it did not go well. I was disappointed. The self was questioning self, labeling self - Was I arrogant? Should I have not prepared? How could I?

Story #2 - I value giving, fearlessness and pushing myself to do better. I have been practicing Buddhist meditation technique Vipassana for last several years. There came an opportunity to volunteer for Vipassana. With my values it was a no brainer that I need to jump in and do my bit, but in between came my own pleasurable and comforting weekend plan which I had been waiting for. There began a conflict of what i must do, till the time of deadline of volunteering I was in pain, after that disappointed by self. A feeling of letting down self, How could I?  I do think I do my bit on the values, but still the self was questioning self...

Failing to meet own standards of self happens often, there are many moments you live up to it, there are few you fail as well. But the failure sometimes grips the mind so much that it can go on beating you, making you feel sad. The emotion unfortunately has no reason and does not look at win ratios but goes on like a broken record on that one failure and the mind automatically accumulates all such transgressions, adds negative adjectives. Result - restlessness or anxiety or sadness. 

These are the times to take solace in self forgiveness, self compassion - get silent and tell yourself "I forgive myself for being unable to live upto my expectations. It is a journey and next time I will try to do better". This does not stop here it may be worthwhile also to examine the values if they are in conflict with what you really are and believe in and have the next step planned.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Water Water Everywhere but not a Drop to Drink

I have read, understood, made notes of all the wisdom in books but the same damn wisdom I am not able to live!

In one of the Vipassana lectures Goenka ji explains there are 3 types of wisdom and with varying impact on life. In order of hierarchy of impact these are:


  1. Shrutpragya or Wisdom acquired through reading or listening wise thoughts 
  2. Chintan-Pragya or Wisdom acquired through thinking and analyzing whatever was heard or read
  3. Bhavanamayi Pragya or Wisdom acquired through experience
That's where the struggle is reading all the great thinkers in Twitter and using intellect to like a certain level of knowledge that is easy but to imbibe these in life, making this part of experience is what is a real struggle.

With all the knowledge dissemination through internet we have a generation of wisely informed people but with huge gap in practiced wisdom...

What we need to do is pick the thought which you relate to and exhibit courage to experience it, making it a part of life!

Damn the habits, fear & procrastination...

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Festivals of India - 1: Diwali

I am very ignorant about all festivals of India, it is very ironic since I have lived in India amongst people for whom these festivals are like religion, they celebrated and follow all rituals possible. This series of blog is an attempt for me to understand the festivals.. I begin today with Diwali which is today!

The following are excerpts from various sites on the web:

The name "Diwali" or "Divali" is a contraction of deepavali which translates into "row of lamps". Diwali involves the lighting of small clay lamps filled with oil to signify the triumph of good over evil. These lamps are kept on during the night and one's house is cleaned, both done in order to make the goddess Lakshmi feel welcome. Firecrackers are burst because it is believed that it drives away evil spirits. During Diwali, all the celebrants wear new clothes and share sweets and snacks with family members and friends.

There are various legends pointing to the origin of Diwali or 'Deepawali.' Some believe it to be the celebration of the marriage of Lakshmi with Lord Vishnu. Whereas in Bengal the festival is dedicated to the worship of Mother Kali, the dark goddess of strength. In Jainism, Deepawali has an added significance to the great event of Lord Mahavira attaining the eternal bliss of nirvana. Diwali also commemorates the return of Lord Rama along with Sita and Lakshman from his fourteen year long exile and vanquishing the demon-king Ravana.

Diwali consists of three to five days of celebrations (the duration depends on where you come from or derive the celebratory traditions from). Each day of Diwali has its own tale, legend and myth to tell. 

  • The thirteenth day from Poornima (Full Moon) (Dhanatrayodashi or Dhanteras). This is the first day of Diwali. "Dhan" means "wealth" and teras means thirteenth day. This is the day for celebrating the goddess Lakshmi, the Goddess of Wealth. For some places in India, the lamps are kept burning for Lord Yamaraj, the God of Death.
  • The fourteenth day (Chhoti Diwali or Narak chaturdashi). Hindus believe that this is the day that Lord Krishna destroyed the demon Narakasur, freeing the world from fear. Firecrackers are often let off from this day.
  • The new moon day (Diwali / Lakshmi puja / Lakshmipujan) of the dark fortnight of Ashvin. This is the actual day of Diwali, and the most significant day. If the house has not already been cleaned, it must be done early this day to welcome the Goddess Lakshmi. Gifts and sweets are exchanged on this day to strengthen bonds of love between family and friends. Firecrackers are let off after dinner.
  • The first day of the bright fortnight of Kartik (Balipratipada / Padiwa / Goverdhan puja / Varshapratipada). This is the day that Lord Krishna lifted the Govardhan Parvat to protect the Gokul people from Indra's wrath and King Vikramaditya was crowned.
  • The fifth and final day of the Diwali Festival (Bhai Dooj / Bhaiya Dooj). On the final day of Diwali, brothers and sisters renew sibling love, with sisters applying the sacred red tilak on the forehead of their brothers and praying for their long life, while brothers bless their sisters and provide gifts of love.

·         Not everyone includes the thirteenth day, and the separate holy festivals of Vasubaras and Bhaubij precede Diwali, and follow the Diwali Festival respectively.

What is done on Diwali
·        
  • Go shopping. It is customary to buy utensils and ornaments on the first day of Diwali
  • Clean the house and business premises thoroughly before the first Diwali day, or the Dhanteras.[3] Do the laundry, clean all the rooms and sort out your papers in both your home and business. It's like a spring cleaning of sorts, a "cleansing" ritual to rid yourself of any unnecessary elements in your environment. Draw small footprints using rice flour and vermillion powder over your house; this is a way of indicating that you're awaiting the arrival of the Goddess.
  • Make the entrance way to your home or business colourful using the traditional motifs of Rangoli designs. This is a joyful way to welcome the Goddess of Wealth and Prosperity.
  • Burn lamps every night during the festival. In the evening, light small oil lamps (called "diyas") and place them around the home. Turn all the lights on and light some candles. The lamps symbolize knowledge or one's inner light, which brings about inner peace and fights off any traces of darkness and ignorance.
  • Light some firecrackers and fireworks. These are a common part of Diwali, used to symbolize warding off evil from your surroundings. They are usually set off in greatest numbers on the actual day of Diwali (the third day).
  • Wear new clothes and jewels on the second and third days. If you are a woman, try to obtain a sari, the traditional Indian dress for women. If you're a woman, wear an Indian blouse (known as sari) and top. Men normally wear kurthas, the national clothes for Indian men.
  • Bake sweets, snacks, and savouries. These are traditional offerings for Diwali and are given as gifts
  • Perform a "Lakshmi pooja". This is a ritual performed on Diwali day (the third day) in order to seek divine blessings from the Goddess of Wealth, Lakshmi, who helps those who strive to achieve wealth. It consists of an elaborate ritual using grains, leaves, coins, and idols to prepare a ceremony. During this ritual, you can invoke the Goddess by reciting the Vedic mantras or by thinking of her being showered with gold coins with two elephants standing one each side of her as you chant her name. Offerings are made and at the end, the aarti is performed quietly and a peaceful atmosphere should accompany the entire ritual.
  • Play games. Games are a part of the Diwali Festival, including card games, Rummy,  etc. It's not just for kids but for everyone! It's okay to play for money in card games but don't wager too much. The legend behind gambling on Diwali is that Goddess Parvati played dice with her husband Lord Shiva and declared that whoever gambles on Diwali night would prosper throughout the coming year
  • Care for your sibling. Brothers and sisters affirm sibling love and look after one another on the final day of Diwali. Cook for your sibling, give your sister presents, and tell your brother you love him and wish him a long life

 More on below links: 
  1. Wikipedia Link - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diwali
  2. 10 reasons for celebrating Diwali - http://hinduism.about.com/cs/diwali/a/aa102003a.htm
  3. More about Diwali - http://www.hindujagruti.org/hinduism/festivals/diwali/celebration.php

Friday, October 25, 2013

Vulnerability

Life is a state of mind I concluded in my last blog.. The state of mind is nothing but an emotion.. And if happiness which is a state of mind the end goal, we need to manage this emotion better.. have the right ways to cultivate this emotion, cultivate the right triggers...

Theory of vulnerability says cultivating a state of worthiness by building capacity to be vulnerable is the best way to get into this state of mind.. it believes that we are wired for social connection, that's what is a powerful trigger for happiness.. social connection can only happen at an intimate level if we allow ourselves to be shown, the inner self is exposed and there is authenticity... 

It is about taking discarding your fear, insecurity and feeling of shame and being courageous... 

But I have one question which I am unable to answer - how much is enough? enough of social connection, vulnerability, etc.. it is still a trigger and a dependability...

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Life is a state of mind...

Our state of mind is how we experience life. A moment the mind is in a state of happiness, another moment it is in despair, or ecstasy, or sad.. It is always a state which is very internal is what life experience is. 

Everything else the outside world is just a trigger.. A trigger is self constructed.. someone makes music as a trigger other, dance, someone travel.. you develop these triggers which give you a state of mind, some are conscious like jazz music leading to happiness some are unconscious like darkness leading to fear..

We live through these states of mind, triggers are constructed which put us in different state of mind... much like a programmer programs a software we program us through these triggers, a complicated maze of triggers and complicated variety of outcomes. 

Self help books, positive psychology, counselors, happiness coaches all teach how one can make positive triggers or better still you can be free of triggers which are difficult to achieve based on your current level of abilities and constraint...

Life and its meaning seems such an illusion if we are just a state of mind !!!

Sunday, October 13, 2013

To live means life is a constant Work in Progress

Every day there will be an instance where I feel oh I could have done it better, may be next time. 

This is what keeps life moving, imagine if I had to live each day with the same level of expertise, same reactions, same actions... It would have been nothing but a predictable pattern much like a bug free computer software, caught in same monotony, would stink in time like stagnant water.. I am glad there are bugs in life which keeps us on toes and help us improve.. makes living a constant work in progress.. you give up putting in effort, you give up life... giving up is moving backwards.. 

There is loads to learn, many skins to shed, many fears to conquer, I am glad my life is still work in progress and is progressing ahead!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Is Good enemy of Great or is it Viceversa?

Voltaire said this - Don't let perfect be the enemy of good!, My ex boss introduced me to this deeply philosophical concept and I liked it instantly when I heard her saying for the first time. 

I do tend to agree with it in the context of our work life where we often delay execution for want of perfection and that can bring down the desired impact, time as they say is critical in the fast moving world. The patient will be dead if we keep waiting for the best doctor to arrive, we need to trust when good is enough.

However while reading Steve jobs biography, I thought good can be the enemy of great.. Jobs brought some magnificent products with his sheer madness around perfection, around bringing a great product much ahead of its time, he rebelled against practical wisdom and he managed to create all of this only through this.. Had he also thought let perfection be damned, good is enough would we have not stuck in mediocre products? 

Does good not bring us a mediocre life? Striving for perfection is what gets us to move up... There are facets of greatness of which we cannot cut corners, we should not for our own good. 

What aspect to strive for perfection and what not, is a question we must answer and live with both the good and great....


Saturday, August 3, 2013

Materialism - Have I got it right?

I always thought materialism is being attached to money, I have given a lot of effort to be less and less dependent on it.. However a thought bothers me is materialism only about money? I am attached to how I spend my time, is it not a form of materialism where I am trying to hold to a scarce commodity like money.. Does the spiritual wisdom not say  - All is transient?

It is a difficult attachment which I have and I have a feeling it interferes with my balance of how I need to live the life...

This bothers me... Have I got it right?

We are all the same

The more people I meet, the more I read, I realize we all are same.. the same emotions, the same fears, the same love, the same wants, it is just that the expression of this differs.. the underlying code is the same.. the answers to it differ based on what we conclude of our life struggles .. 

All go through the ups and downs, through their good days and bad days, through moments of elation and moments of sadness, moments of success and moments of failure. All want the same outcome happiness through - being in love with self, feeling secure.

I am saying being in love with self and not necessarily loved by others as I think that is an outcome of being in love with self in the right manner. Narcissist creates a delusion of self love and does not need others and outcome is achieved, most others self love is dependent on if others love, this is how most people are.. Without narcissism if you can come to a state where you feel, you are complete by yourself that is also possible. 

Secure is important as you need to be in the state for a longer duration, not just being there in here and now and worry about future..security brings permanence...

We are all the same and if we collaborate, trust each other, these outcomes can be achieved in a simple manner. Society, its norms like family, festivals, marriage, community are based on these principles..

Wisdom Decoded

Wisdom of living is about achieving a balance, balance tailored to your own unique reality, reality rooted in the 4 dimensions of - emotional (includes relations), physical (including material), intellectual & spiritual. 

Why balance? There are always opposing forces of desire and what you are capable of. You may desire a mansion but you may not be capable of generating that much of capital, you err in balance and you end up moving into dark areas of making money through fraudulent means. This is intra dimension balance. There is another inter dimension where you need to get it right.. You want the mansion and you single mindedly focus on getting the required capital ignoring other dimensions  - emotional,  spiritual; you make a mess out of it and when you have the mansion you have a lot of fear and you are standing alone... 

These 4 dimensions make life, achieving a balance and moving ahead in each is all it requires.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Life's Biggest Questions

For now there have been only 2 - What's the purpose of life?  & How do I achieve Happiness?

There is 1 more about which I will talk later, I realize these are definitely bull shit questions !!!! Yes I have been giving it too much importance trying to solve, thought, written, read tomes on this and now I think these are no questions to solve.. stop looking for a purpose and you will be happy, purpose is sought for happiness and happiness is a trick you can play with your mind... so if you are happy why need a purpose?

Few mind tricks for happiness- Arrogance, delusions, contentment, denial, narcissism, detachment, acceptance, etc.. there are many choose the one suits you...