Love & Sex 2

Love in popular terms is about sex. Its about finding that one elusive perfect life partner with whom one can live happily ever after. It is a good thought but one when gets it mind waivers for somehting more and something different, there is no perfection anyways

The popular love has something else too. Sex is definitely the biggest ingredient but the other ingredient is emotional need. You love a person who fulfills your emotional need. It is a one way traffic it is about what you get out of the partner. You only give to make sure that there is some hook for the partner too, to be in love.

You love the person who you think is smarter or in some way is fulfilling your emotional needs of security, appreciation, being able to show him/ her off in the social circle, etc

Real love has to transcend the popular love definitions and is much beyond the basics. One has to learn to give first in real love and really feel compassionate about the other . Quite difficult to achieve. Quite difficult to transcend one's own needs. Popular Love is not love but is perhaps a contract of give and take, i may be sounding cynical but i am not. I am being a realist and i am not being judgemental. As long as you give if and if you are taking i beleive it is a nice fulfilling relationship. If the equation anytime imbalances chances are you will develop cracks in relationships. Though popular love has its reasons to exist and works for most to keep them happy but it is not perfection or pure it has to be mastered, self has to be mastered in some manner to come to a point that you are able to just give.

My Take on Love & Sex

This one is a difficult subject to write and I am sure this will be controversial. I am here to write about sex, love between male and female.

I don’t believe in the concept of love as it is largely followed. Love in general is only between a male and female or let me put it only between sexual partners (male – female in case of heterosexuals, same sex in case of homosexuals). Is it not a narrow meaning of love? What has love as an emotion got to do with sexual partner or gender? Look at all other emotions which describe us – empathy, compassion, anger, hate (opposite of love), pick any emotion it is not directed towards a particular category but transcends all such categories and can be to any specie living or dead or non living.

For sake of simplicity and as per my sexual preference (heterosexual) I will be writing it using male and female examples nothing against homosexuals.

But ask any person looking for love it is to do with gender. One may agree or disagree but the truth is it is about sex. It is longing for physical sex manifesting through emotions. Come to think of it every emotion has physical manifestation anger is seen in physical aggression, extreme hate can lead to similar aggression as anger, empathy could lead to physical actions of helping the person. In all these cases emotion follow the physical action however in case of love it seems the opposite but it is not. It seems so as per my argument sex I said love is about sex so it means it follows desire for sex is preceded by love. But it is not so as Sex is physical but the desire is an emotion, it flows from the need of the emotional solace one gets through the sexual experience. The desire manifests from the experience one has had earlier.

The love we see around us is all about sex? Difficult to answer but large part is sex then flows other attachments as well but it does start with sex.

You see sexual energy all over around you. Playful banters between men and women. Couples walking hand in hand everywhere you don’t see the same in same sex. Flirting, compliments, being conscious, putting your best put forward are some of the experiences you observe in a group of men and women. Look at the romantic movies they are all about finding that perfect partner, sexual partner. The best moments are those which are followed by the romantic gossips followed by gentle kiss and sex. Such are the memorable moments of romantic movies.

It is sex everywhere I have not seen any movie which does not have its energy, even the hardcore action movies will have a dame either with the protagonist or the antagonist and there will be love and sexual energy.

I am to believe the meaning of love and sex entwined and cannot be separated.

With so such of this energy what surprises me is there is so much guilt around sex, sexual desires it is love ultimately and not a harmful emotion per se. Why can you love only one? Why is it a sin for an engaged partner to fall in love or attracted to another person? Why is it a forbidden fruit as per all religions? Why is it be given up to attain the highest ideals of being human – nirvana, moksha?