Wisdom Tweet #4

Why do I get a feeling I am chasing the wrong dreams?

Making sense through observing life...

As I look into life of all around, I see a common thread - 

• Chasing pleasure
• Chasing people for recognition, love.

The root is, looking for happiness.... 

As I further probe, pleasure is more straight forward money helps you buy it, however you need some sense of security to spend it; we are anxious of future and want to avoid pain, this  is avoided through money so we like to accumulate. 

Chasing people is more complex and very illogical, after all it is a function of emotions - an ability to feel and making others feel about you, we are much guarded. Like we need a sense of security by keeping money for future, we seek sense of security through avoiding rejection, being mocked at, looking weak as if we need the others to give us recognition and love. We hence create defense mechanisms, do not express which we feel as we may be seen as weak, dependent, needed. We live a life in second thoughts, controlled impulses, controlled feelings, trying to please, trying to avoid intimacy.  This very act of breaking free can help us get what we want, without money by sheer act of allowing us to flow... Web of emotions caught up with inter linkages  limit us to break free.  There is a caveat though you cant get till you give, complex is therefore I call it. 

Work? Life? Family? Balance? Superior?

My boss has decided to take a break, she is very passionate about her work, tipped to be next function head, all what you can think from work perspective which can make her successful is working for her - ability, passion, visibility, drive, ambition, etc. 

She loves her work and yet she is taking a break. A break for taking care of her kids. And therefore a lot of feminists and women folk wonder in office why? They think this is  how the system (social, organization) conspires and makes it tough for woman. I also know it has been tough for my boss to take this decision, making this choice would have not come without endless debate. The soothsayers all tell her she will be back soon, the time period varies but all say it will be quick. 

I can understand her debate but I do not understand the others argue on below points- 

• Betrayal of society for woman to give up her career, it is based on the premise work is of a higher order? I wonder, is it really? 
• Woman are being robbed of their independence, the terrible culture of work, India. I wonder - Who is independent in this world? Money comes with work but it does not take out dependence for any one of us, we are dependent on others at any point of time for our needs. Money is not the only need we have and does money buy us everything?
• It is a man's world. I wonder - Is it? why does the game we master to earn money become so superior? Is taking care of kids lesser than the office work we do?
• Why cannot man take a break? I wonder  - why does it matter, is it not looking from the lens that what woman has to give up is inferior and work superior? Can this not be considered 2 different tasks equal in value? No one is giving anything, it is just that more skilled is rotating to a role which needs attention, the role being take care of the kids?

I wonder - Why money earning activity has become so important? Why all other activities been relegated to an inferior position? Why do we need to judge this and make a big deal out of it. 

Time to Shed the Old Skin

"Even the finest books deserve to be thrown aside" - This is the last line of the book I recently read - How Proust can change your life, written by Alain De Botton, he quotes Marcel Proust here. 

The book overall was heavy for me but this ending line has caught my attention. 

Doing my self assessment as usual with each of these philosophical thought I think I am caught up with the books I have read, the theories, the periodic battle of to be or not to be; it is time that throw all of this aside, there is much to life which needs to be experienced, the books, the theories can only take me to a small distance, beyond that I have to traverse myself.

What holds back that experience is mental conditioning, the fears of different hues, the judgements and the desire of being desirous. 

It is time to shed the skin, and take another leap, wear the new skin...

Silver Lining Playbook - Some Quotes

Tiffany: I was a big slut, but I'm not any more. There's always going to be a part of me that's sloppy and dirty, but I like that. With all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself fucker? Can you forgive? Are you any good at that?

Tiffany: I opened up to you, and you judged me

Pat: How old are you? 
Tiffany: Old enough to have a marriage end and not wind up in a mental hospital. 

Tiffany: I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I'm empty! I have nothing!

Pat: The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed. I can't begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday's my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.

Tiffany: Why did you order Raisin Bran?

Pat: Why did you order tea?

Tiffany: Because you ordered Raisin Bran.

Pat: I ordered Raisin Bran because I didn't want any mistaking it for a date.

Tiffany: It can still be a date if you order Raisin Bran.

Pat: It's not a date..."

Nature vs Culture

Devdutt Patnaik's book Myth = Mithya explains this concept which is there in Hindu mythology. Are gods and stories revolves around reaching a perfect state, reach God through one of the ways of nature or culture. 

Nature is our original self, driven by impulses, instincts and lies within. There are no rules, think of early tribes, or hippies  -there were no rules of right conduct, marriage, god, etc

Culture is the society of rules, what  is right or wrong, culture is the conditioning, it is a construct on which society is based. Philosophically there is no right or wrong and one can see the same when we study different societies, each having a distinct culture professed for reaching perfection. Each society believing in its superiority, Marriage itself and rules around it are an example of culture, it is an artificial construct. 

Nature is represented by Shiva, Culture by Vishnu. There is always a conflict between the two, in individuals, in society, all over. 

I see myself impacted by this duel between the two, day in and day out. It reminds me of one my very good friend, he seems to be at peace with both, relatively speaking or perhaps it appears so. When we met last he told me of his meeting nature, I asked what about culture? He seemed at peace, no unnecessary explanation or guilt but of acceptance of both sides as right, and there seemed to be synergy in his mind. I could see the nature active and at the same time his selflessness, love and care much ahead of us cultured ones. I know it is cryptic but that is how I want for now :).

p.s. Hermann Hesse novel  Narcissus and Goldmund captures this aspect beautifully. 

Life & Thoughts - 3

Life, happiness are one.

Fulfilled life is infinite happiness.

What is the Way?

Happiness lies Within,

Within cries for others,

Others to recognise the within.

Is it not begging?

Is it not a trade?

Is it not an unending goal?

Is there another way?

Within can recognize itself.

Self goals and achievement, 

Love and praise thyself.

Is it not narcissism?

Is it not a lie?

Is it not an illusion?

Is there another way?

Few believe in an abstruse way,

Happiness they say is the original state,

Life, happiness were always one, 

Self, ego cast a shadow on life,

Destroy self, life & happiness will remain.

Infinite and unobstructed.

What do I choose?

Mix of all or only one?