Purpose - 2

What is the purpose of my life? I meet many frustrated, bored people who lack purpose, and are looking for more meaning in life. I wonder what is a worthy purpose to aspire for? Are all purposes not having the same end - your happiness? Can there be just one purpose?

To answer some of these questions I thought about the heroes of the past and today, who were/ are determined to do something larger than their own self. Most I realize have a single minded focus and seem to have a purposeful life. The difference I concur between the heroes and the non heroes is a long term goal, to which they dedicate themselves. There are 2 aspects - 1) having a long term goal 2) single minded dedication.

Take a minute to think about all the people who you have met or read about who you believe have a clear purpose. I bet for all those people the above definition will fit in, they have a dedicated long term goal and they put their heart and soul to it. 

It is as easy as above, it does not need to be rooted in philanthropy or compassion or some idealism. Mother Teresa had a purpose so did Mark Zuckerberg. One may debate one purpose to be higher than the other, but that is a judging through a value system. Who is superior is not the question but it is an evolving phenomenon, Bill Gates had a purpose when he wanted to build Microsoft, he now has a purpose working to better society through his foundation. There are stages as per the life demands and your own wisdom, which are to be acknowledged, judgement of what is higher is needless. 

One just needs to have a long term goal and stick to it, the next logical  question is if this is so simple why do most struggle to have a purposeful, meaningful, fulfilling life?  This is a difficult question to answer and there could be many reasons, I have listed some which I think are the top ones, I will be happy to hear from all the readers what they think could be the reasons. I will recommend you make your own set of reasons what has been stopping you and see how you can overcome them

Reasons:

1. Choices - We are spoilt by choices, have multiple interests, desires and get lost in trying to have all. We need to make a choice of one, and often are lost in trying to decide which one? The key will be to decide one for now and follow the rest at a later date. An example - you meet many interesting people in life but you only marry one at a time; you have to decide and commit
2. Not knowing self - Many of us are so lost in managing what others want or running the rat race that we are not in touch with ourselves, not knowing what we really are good at or what we enjoy. Not knowing self can be very confusing to set a goal. Sometimes we have to try something new, even if it feels stupid to just know if this is it or not. 
3. Commit - This is very difficult the choices keep tempting us, confusing us. One has to just follow a 6 month rule - We must commit to this -  for next six months I am dedicating myself to a goal and will rest all doubts for later
4. Inertia  - This is another roadblock, any single minded focus means a lot of effort and many of us find it difficult to take the first step. Wise people say often the first steps are the most difficult to take. Each day one has to push oneself before you get into a rhythm and start enjoying the journey. Sometimes it is this inertia which makes us feel frustrated and we fool ourselves by not acting but blaming the world, blaming our inadequacies, our environment, lack of support from friends & family, for a lack of purpose in life.
5. Setbacks - We tend to stop focussing on the goal and start getting blocked by not being successful or  fear of failure. The goal is not about success or failure but about the journey, it is a long term one in which we need to just learn to move ahead from the position we are at right now. Even an inch of improvement is success. Setbacks can also waiver commitment, lead to inertia or increase the confusion

Optimism or Pessimism or Somewhere in Between

There are advocates of optimism who swear by it as the panacea for all ills, guaranteeing happiness. Pessimism sits on the other end of this equation is considered to be a reason for unhappiness. These advocates of optimism are ranging from leading psychologists to wise people who have best sellers in their list. In fact this belief of optimism is more of an outcome of media. They fill us with stories of heroism against all odds, the zero becomes a hero, battling  all odds of life, and in the end perseverance backed by optimism changes fortune.

My take on this is different, as media tells us there are many whose dreams come true, but there are many more whose dreams are not met, and there are many who end up in drugs, asylum, prisons, unemployment, etc. People who buy this philosophy have selectively beamed information as they think is right. 

My take is optimism is as good as pessimism, if there is anything which works and can bring you happiness is realism. It is not my idea but my own interpretation of what I hear in the Indian philosophical system. It is a common saying here in India and most of the philosophical texts contain the same truth in some form or the other. Karma Kar Phal Ke Chinta Mat Kar - This translates to do your bit but don't bother about fruits. It essentially advocates right effort and leaving the outcome out of it. The outcome can be anything, but what should be the goal of the individual is the effort he or she puts in. It is not about being optimist or pessimist but just being neutral, all energies directed towards the effort. 

Why I believe this works best? Being an optimist may initially encourage you to put an effort but it may or may not lead to the desired outcome, unfortunately the outcome is dependent on many other factors - people around you, environment, competition, luck, etc. An optimist will find it difficult to deal with the situation when the outcome does not turn out to be the way s/he was dreaming of and is bound to get frustrated and turn pessimist. Pessimism can be definitely worse than optimism as it does not even give the initial impetus to put in effort. 

An example  - A student, who has got a low grade, is optimist and believes will cover up in the final exams so that the overall grades will be better. The optimism coaxes him or her to work hard towards the grade. On the other hand pessimist considered low grade as fait accompli and does not put in any effort. What is better? Optimism.. definitely... 

However on the day of the exam  the student got ill, had a terrible headache and could not do well. Imagine now how unhappy the student will be? He wanted the grade, he was looking forward to it, made the efforts but alas it did not work out. Who will be more happier in this case, I guess the pessimist as his expectations were lower and he met them so a reason to be happy but the optimist will cry for a long time and curse his luck.. 

Consider now the student who had put in effort as grades are important, focussed on effort and not much on the grades or he bet on effort  = high grades. Illness will disappoint him or her but he will be happy with the journey of effort and will take solace in the fact there was right effort but was slightly unlucky...

That's what I believe in, good times or bad times nothing survive, there is another saying - this too shall pass.. What matters is the effort which you have put in and nothing else, the outcome is just a bonus. 

However let me end by telling you my view point is an ideal one, I will rate optimism far ahead of pessimism  and it is perhaps a journey to be taken  - from pessimism to optimism to realism focussed on effort.