Is that her?

While growing up there are always the romantic notions of relationships, picture perfect dreams. Movies spoil our mind further, handsome men, beautiful woman, beauty and brain, ask and you shall get.. You grow up and you realize finding the right partner is not picture perfect... and the dream guy/ girl just does not pop up one fine day and all pieces of life fall together. The more u are grown, the more you are demanding of life (that we must be after all it is just one life), the more confusing it gets.. there are questions galore and few answers. Sometime wonder why did love and life not come with an answer key...

You meet the person who you think is all good but something is missing, you know it at times and other times u dont know what is missing but you know that something is missing... or maybe nothing is missing but you just are not ready yet, you dont feel it to commit.. you are not sure if this is it. endless debates you get into but no argument seem to convince you on any side.. you try ask many questions, look it through different angles but you still are not sure... you wonder am i being too silly and letting go of a good partner, am i too demanding and impractical.... another part tells you that you must not be hasty or compromise and then regret for a long time..

I must say here there is another category of people who always find everything perfect.. they live in a happy world.. I envy them, they perhaps have the answers which i dont have. Envy them also because i think  i am more or equally intelligent but still do not have the answer. I know they have the answers... so what is it what is it that they know and i do not? OR Is it that they dont have the answers but they are lucky and god is playing tricks with me... I am no sinner or less noble than they are, i dont think god is unfair... So this is not it, just that i need to solve this puzzle.

coming back to the point... should i be listening to intelligent words like "compromise and be practical" or just wait for that perfect moment when my heart flutters and say this is it. should i listen to the mind or wait for those emotions which will sweep me off my feet?

some intelligent people say emotions are a product of mind and they will come eventually so let go of your fears and with total commitment give in and you will not regret, listen to your mind heart will follow... alas i am not that intelligent i am waiting for my heart to beat, hear to melt that i forget the mind and all just falls in place... where do i draw the line?

 

time to attempt an answer... develop an answer key.. I need to drop the imaginary thresholds and picture perfect notions of romance say bye to mills and boons.. The reason i see plenty of people falling in love and falling out of it... when in love it is an adrenalin rush which one has of winning someone who you admire, it is all beautiful when you win and you prove yourself... you feel important and loved... but then familiarity breeds contempt or if not contempt it erodes away that feeling of important and loved.. you are equal now...

Love and such heightened emotion die with time, these are to be nourished and revived with different angles of relationships, one of the angle belongs to practicality and logic.. the answer lie in both sides of argument, the practical and emotion...

For the right person:

The practical side tell me that I should be able to spend quality time with the person and there has to be a compatibility. The practical side tell me that I should be able to feel proud of this person, consider equal or higher.

The emotional side tell me that I should be able to feel good with the person. It need not be a vortex of emotion, of being pampered. All this cannot last long, time and familiarity erodes the strength of any heightened emotion.

The practical side tell that nothing is tailor made and there are few must haves that I must list, if they are there I must let go off of the fear of being wrong... The must haves to be on all 4 planes - Physical, material, intellectual & emotional. A threshold i need to decide in all planes

Whether i will know the answer exactly I doubt that, I need not compromise at all but I need to let go of some fear and commit... i just need to get rid of these doubts and fear.... do i have the answers still? I doubt as it is no mathematical equation (wish it was), but a direction yes !

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This one is dedicated to a friend who is seeking answers, so I thought let me attempt an answer from my side, it is an attempt of theory from my perspective

Shut up Mind ! #1

You stop at a traffic light and see that beggar out of the window of your car, crippled, hungry, famished.. You feel terrible for him.. thank your stars wonder how lucky you are, just born lucky.. thank god.. and move on

Next traffic light you dont see a beggar, but that beautiful car, new swanky, stylish, chauffer driven with a young woman sitting reading a newspaper at back.. you wonder why her, what has she done to deserve it.. wish you were there in place of her.... how unlucky you are !

Time to say: Oh mind you shut up ! you are so confused !

Love simplified

We have complicated love by intelligent theories. I now think the mundane (but not abundant) love in life can be defined in two bullet points:

• You are loved if you are made feel special by the lover by doing just a few actions for you and only for you
• The lover in your eyes has to be someone you consider to be worthy. By worthy I mean you should be able to respect the individual. If a devil does something for you, you will write it off and not feel loved. But this lies in the eyes of the beholder and is subjective

It is as simple and to love is even more simpler just a few actions for the loved one and not thinking about yourself. Yet I see people find it very difficult to love for various innumerable reasons. These reasons we have unfortunately are very intelligent ones, no doubt about that :) I have my own intelligent reasons.....

Wisdom Tweet #3

Mind is the key to the state of bliss and not getting the desired fruit. Watch it's dance every day, study its moves and one will realize it is so discontent and forever restless it justs makes one run from pillar to post, makes one doubt oneself, makes one live in future or past does not let life just be as it is !

It is doubting the above wisdom and is telling me  - you will vegetate if you dont run, you crazy ! Shut up mind ! I am too smart and know all so let me feel good we will debate some other time.

Freedom

Freedom, does it really exist?
Says so the book we got freedom in 1947
I dont feel free, I am caught in myraid chains
My ambition, my ego, my desires, my image,
My conscience that reminds me what is right for me
What I cannot do and how I need to do what I can do
My fear of losing what I desire,
All make me question the existence of freedom.

And then I wonder if I ever do get free,
Free of all these chains will I be alive though still living?

Answers anyone?