While growing up there are always the romantic notions of relationships, picture perfect dreams. Movies spoil our mind further, handsome men, beautiful woman, beauty and brain, ask and you shall get.. You grow up and you realize finding the right partner is not picture perfect... and the dream guy/ girl just does not pop up one fine day and all pieces of life fall together. The more u are grown, the more you are demanding of life (that we must be after all it is just one life), the more confusing it gets.. there are questions galore and few answers. Sometime wonder why did love and life not come with an answer key...
You meet the person who you think is all good but something is missing, you know it at times and other times u dont know what is missing but you know that something is missing... or maybe nothing is missing but you just are not ready yet, you dont feel it to commit.. you are not sure if this is it. endless debates you get into but no argument seem to convince you on any side.. you try ask many questions, look it through different angles but you still are not sure... you wonder am i being too silly and letting go of a good partner, am i too demanding and impractical.... another part tells you that you must not be hasty or compromise and then regret for a long time..
I must say here there is another category of people who always find everything perfect.. they live in a happy world.. I envy them, they perhaps have the answers which i dont have. Envy them also because i think i am more or equally intelligent but still do not have the answer. I know they have the answers... so what is it what is it that they know and i do not? OR Is it that they dont have the answers but they are lucky and god is playing tricks with me... I am no sinner or less noble than they are, i dont think god is unfair... So this is not it, just that i need to solve this puzzle.
coming back to the point... should i be listening to intelligent words like "compromise and be practical" or just wait for that perfect moment when my heart flutters and say this is it. should i listen to the mind or wait for those emotions which will sweep me off my feet?
some intelligent people say emotions are a product of mind and they will come eventually so let go of your fears and with total commitment give in and you will not regret, listen to your mind heart will follow... alas i am not that intelligent i am waiting for my heart to beat, hear to melt that i forget the mind and all just falls in place... where do i draw the line?
time to attempt an answer... develop an answer key.. I need to drop the imaginary thresholds and picture perfect notions of romance say bye to mills and boons.. The reason i see plenty of people falling in love and falling out of it... when in love it is an adrenalin rush which one has of winning someone who you admire, it is all beautiful when you win and you prove yourself... you feel important and loved... but then familiarity breeds contempt or if not contempt it erodes away that feeling of important and loved.. you are equal now...
Love and such heightened emotion die with time, these are to be nourished and revived with different angles of relationships, one of the angle belongs to practicality and logic.. the answer lie in both sides of argument, the practical and emotion...
For the right person:
The practical side tell me that I should be able to spend quality time with the person and there has to be a compatibility. The practical side tell me that I should be able to feel proud of this person, consider equal or higher.
The emotional side tell me that I should be able to feel good with the person. It need not be a vortex of emotion, of being pampered. All this cannot last long, time and familiarity erodes the strength of any heightened emotion.
The practical side tell that nothing is tailor made and there are few must haves that I must list, if they are there I must let go off of the fear of being wrong... The must haves to be on all 4 planes - Physical, material, intellectual & emotional. A threshold i need to decide in all planes
Whether i will know the answer exactly I doubt that, I need not compromise at all but I need to let go of some fear and commit... i just need to get rid of these doubts and fear.... do i have the answers still? I doubt as it is no mathematical equation (wish it was), but a direction yes !
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This one is dedicated to a friend who is seeking answers, so I thought let me attempt an answer from my side, it is an attempt of theory from my perspective
Seems like some1 is tryng to fall in love or had already fallen in love but juggling betwn the question of practical n emotional views....
ReplyDeletewell once u r there then dont think too much just moves with the flow becz emotions n practical knowhow will automaticly comes in way n u will urself becomes the judger....
or someone is cautious given age has got better of her and having been in and out of love realize it can be fleeting and happiness in life also requires quite a bit of mind, flow can follow. Emotions like of "devdas" can devastate....
ReplyDelete:) (ans plz , doing unpersonalized) - Even with 1000 worries and ups-down wat is dat precious thing which Love can give you? (love , of course the one with full understanding and maturity) ???
ReplyDeleteIt can only give you love! Cannot have unless you give it back equally or more
DeleteLove cant give you anything except hurt & tears. Forget love . There is no such thing call unconditional ,pure or true love. I was wrong & foolish to believe in love.Don't believe in any kind of love anymore.Everything looks good in movies but in reality love is an illusion & it is selfish. The sooner one open one's eye the better it is... Don't fall in this trap ever
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